And so are the Matts of our Lives...

I'm currently doing someone else's job for them.
I'm graduating in December, and out of this town, off to better things.
That makes the marketing director nervous because Matt** (my co-worker) has only done Graphic Design and not Web Design.
I've done all the web design and have been paid well for it.
Now, my boss wants the new website to be handed over to Matt, the co-worker.
I understand, I'm leaving, she can't count on me forever.
There is just one little catch.
MATT IS A IDIOT WHEN IT COMES TO WEB DESIGN.
Oh, he can make it look pretty... on paper.
Actually making it pretty in the coding world... different story.

I continued with the site I created, and meanwhile he's suppose to be designing the new one.
The new one needs to launch THIS THURSDAY.
On Friday it was decided by my boss (who had seen me go through the web designing process one year earlier) that Matt was not going to finish it in time.
She grabbed half the web pages from him and handed them to me.
"Please help us" she said.
I agreed and we upped my hours a little for this week.
It turns out, that she should have stepped in about two weeks ago.
Matt has barely begun this site.
And then.... (pause for dramatic effect)... he has the audacity to cop an attitude at me.
It was this male-ego-I-don't-like-the-fact-that-a-student-is-taking-over-a-job-that-i-have-no-idea-how-to-do attitude.
Needless to say, at the end of yesterday I was furious.
Not only was I doing this guy a favor and saving his hide, but he was making my life miserable while I was doing it.
I went for a walk, for 1.5 hours I basically walked off my frustration.
I got a book, walked to the coffee shop, and then upstairs to Matt's (my Significant Other) apartment to ask if I could have one of his cigarettes and if he still wanted to watch 24 that evening.
He knew I was stressed, you don't date someone for a year and half without picking up on little things like that.
He told me to go downstairs and read my book (that was my plan) and then to come back around 7:30 and we'd watch Sopranos then 24.
At the end of 24, I was feeling better.
He pulled out a bottle of booze and lemonade and sat down.
"Don't you have pre-lim stuff you have to do? You argue your case on Friday?!" I said.
"I can get it done tomorrow, no problems, I swear" and with that being said, he poured two drinks.
It didn't take long before I was whining about my day.
He listened, very intently and quietly.
He stroked my hair and took my side on everything (sometimes he likes to play devil's advocate) and I realized after about 30 minutes that I was feeling a lot better.
That feeling quickly switched to intense happiness at what Matt had done for me.
I gave him a look that said so, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you" I said.
He grinned and said "My God, I have a pre-lim coming up but your day sucked 10 times more than mine did. I'm just glad that booze and listening makes you 100 % happy again. You might be one of the lowest matience girls I've ever seen."
I guess we all have our qualities that sometimes are only appreciated by some.

** GH's real name is Matt
My co-worker's name is Matt
My significant other's name is Matt
and now, RHM's boyfriend's name is Matt.
Seriously was no one creative in the 80's?

Creative Spam.

Below is a spam e-mail I received today.
I actually read the majority of it before realizing I didn't know this person, and that my co-workers weren't actually talking about me.

Hi, I hate to be the one to mention this, but people at work are talking about your weight issue and it just disgusts me. Whether you know it by now, people are always chattering about each other at work but you come up more than enough. I feel the right thing to do is to let you know now before this gets worse. I wasn't the happiest or best-fit a year ago or so but I managed to change that thanks to my sister-in-law(of all people).
Anyhow, it was for the best. What I am saying is that you need to do something different and maybe you can make the same difference I did. Try this stuff I used. I took it on the idea it's just more junk but it worked great. I see more positive reviews on it nowadays and makes me feel even better. So, I am encouraging a change, not only in the chatter around here but in you personally if you are willing.

-Anonymous for now
Here is the website below I order from.

Thinking about it, I wear a size 2 and I have a 36 inch inseam.
I don't worry about my weight, and I know I don't have a weight problem, unless it's underweight.
So as a joke I forwarded this message to Matt, and wrote:
J$,
I'm forwarding this to you, Did you know about my weight issue?
Q

He wrote back to me:
Actually, I have a bit of a confession to make. I'm guilty of talking about your weight behind your back. I'm just worried that if something doesn't change that you will have to pull dragged down the stairs of my apartment in a custom fattie wheelchair by a team of 7 emt's to get you in for your gastric bypass surgery.

Is that really what you want out of life? Sitting around at 2 in the morning sucking down ho hos calling up Moroccan restaurants? Is it?

I was having a case of "i'm going to kill my co-workers" monday, and to receive that e-mail at that point was the only reason I actually started reading it.
Matt made it all better.

The Oompa Loompas are coming to get me.

This weekend is Grand Prix weekend. It means that today, men get into little cars like Shriners and zip around a race track, while 100's of onlookers watch completely wasted.
Purdue has started the tradition of "The Breakfast Club" and many of my friends were at it today(there is a youtube video below on it). This morning thousands of drunk college students stood in line outside of Matt's window while waiting for the bars.
I was awoken at 6:30 by this.
At 7:20 I got my first call. MarriedMan apparently woke up at 5:45 to start drinking and by 7:20 he was in line and wanting to know where I was.
I rolled over and went back to sleep.
At 1, I decided that it might be a good idea to move my car that was parked on a side street. I left Matt's apartment, saying I would be back, and started walking.
Two Oompa Loompa's started following me.
I started walking faster.
They started yelling for me to stop and then broke into a run after me.
If two Oompa Loompas started running after you, your instinct would be to run.
That's what I did.
I flew around a corner and right into Oscar the Grouch.
I started to push past him when he said "Are you ok, QSW?"
I realized at that point that it was my friend Steve.
I grabbed him by both arms and said "The Oompa Loompas are coming after me!"
On any other day, I would have sounded crazy.
Oscar the Grouch half hugged me as the Oompa Loompas rounded the corner.
Pissed off that I was in the arms of another man, the Oompa Loompas threw their beer all over me.
Twice that has happened to me in less than 24 hours. The night before Swetha (friend) and I got beer thrown on us in the middle of the street, no idea why.
At least I had some idea why it was happening this time because the Oompas yelled "whore" as they turned to leave.
Oscar the Grouch didn't like the idea of me being called a whore, so decided to chase after them in a reverse situation from just moments before.
I didn't wait for him to get back, and I was off to my car.

My car was being used as part of a field goal.
No joke, some yahoo decided to pull up to my front bumper and use the slope of the front of our cars as a sort of a field goal.
Mainly footballs were just being thrown at our cars by drunk men.
I didn't even ask.
I just got in my car and locked the doors.
They started to get upset when I started it, but I drove off too quickly to hear much.
I drove to my apartment, got into the shower fully clothed and washed away the beer smell.. yet again.

And to top off that whole story, last night Matt found out about GH.
He said he already knew, and I apologized wholeheartedly.
He seems to be over his pissed-offness at my asshole move.
Crazy weekend, I wonder how tonight will go.

Sh*thead

Let's see if I'm alone on this...

1. A cute guy (or girl) who you've known for a long time, comes walking back into your life and is conveniently single for the first time since he/she was in the 6th grade.
2. You conveniently forget to mention your significant other.
3. And he/she forgets to ask if you have one.
4. You have one drunken night of heavy flirting, and even though nothing happens, you...

A.) Forget him, and pretend you never hung out with him.
B.) Significant other who? I don't remember dating anyone... screw whatshisface.
C.) Walk down the middle of the line. You are tempted by the idea of him, but you won't do anything to risk losing your significant other. So you hang out with him/her, but always at an arms length distance.

Who said C?

df

I've seen relationships where the guy has to bend over backwards for a woman.
If he doesn't make it through all the firey hoops with her flowers, then he's not going to make it with her.

I've been in a relationship that the guy is definitely the one who pleases. Some days the guy wakes up, rolls over looks at me, and decides to make me breakfast before I wake. I'm constantly surprised and showered with attention. I, in turn, try to please him too, but the effort is only 40 % to his 110%. It's not like he minds, he's happy pleasing me, and tells me that. I got annoyed with that relationship, I'm sad to say, I don't know what is wrong with me.

I've been in a relationship that tried to be 50/50 as much as possible. Some weeks it would be more mine, some weeks it would be more his, but usually always even. Even Stevens. You say tomato, I say tomoto, let's call the whole thing off, sort of straight down the middleness. Around that middle area, is where I got really bored with it. Again, no idea what is wrong with me.

I'm in a relationship that is completely new to me. In fact, even people that read this blog sometimes look at me and wonder "Why is she with Matt?" WiscoBlonde thinks I should be up for sainthood. Wanderlusting and I pour over this type of relationship and try to figure out what we get out of it. TAB usually shakes her head at my posts and wonder what I'm thinking. Wombat is happy he's not alone in trying to figure out women.
I put up the toliet seat. I make dinner for him. I make sure I don't bother him if he's busy. And sometimes like last night he does things for me... like ask if he can take me to a movie on Wednesday. And strangely, I'm not bored or annoyed.

I guess everyone has to find their own stride in a relationship. After Matt, I'm looking for another person like him, because this is the happiest I've been, even in the bad times.

The weekend.

This weekend was interesting and surprisingly good.

Friday night: I went out with ID, my friend Beau, his friend Stewart, my brother, and a bunch of other people. It was good until 1:30am, while I was texting Matt to see if he was out, a guy grabbed me (pretending I was his girlfriend) and then started slamming the bar really hard with his fist, while grabbing me by the neck. I immediately grabbed the guy's arm to try to get him off me, but he had superhuman strength, and i was starting to get light headed from his grip. The bartender didn't wait for the bouncers to get through the crowd to me, he jumped up on the bar, and tackled the guy. Lucky for me, one of my friends had gotten to me by then and had my arm so I didn't fall with them. I stood there for a moment, slightly shaking, ID said "Are we going?" I told him that I needed air, but if he could walk me to the door, I'd appreciate it. I told him that I was going to walk to Matt's place (he lives not even a block from the bar we were at).
Matt at that moment text messaged me back saying that he was home and not out at the bars.
I got there, told Matt the story, and he asked if ID and his buddy wanted to come there.
I called them.
They came.
I left around 2, I had to get some sleep. They stayed up until 4 apparently.

Saturday day: So, Matt invited me to a Corral exchange. He has long had this hobby of making his fish tank look pretty, but I've never been included on it. He would go all over the place by himself collecting things, and bringing them back. I didn't ask to join, it's his hobby, and I left it at that. So it was my surprise when he asked if I would like to go with him Saturday morning.
I told him I'd come over around 11, with coffee, and wake him up.
I did just that.
We drove down together, went and saw all the corral, he was asking my opinion about which ones he should get... which made me feel really giddy... and then we ate at the Waffle House nearby and drove back.
When we got back, I started laundry, and watched a movie and he played for 2 hours with his fish tank.
It was a really pleasant Saturday.

Saturday night: I had four tickets to Bob Saget. His friend Mark and his crazy girlfriend were coming up for the other two tickets and to go with us. We all had a really good time at it. We ate together afterwards and drank together after that. They finally left at 2 in the morning to go back home, even though we offered the spare room. After they left, Matt and I talked for about an hour about things he's going through at work, and things I'm going through at work, and about how certain people suck... yadda yadda... after that Matt asked if I wanted to see the end of the movie we had started watching earlier. I agreed, we poured another drink and settled in to watch the remaining 45 minutes. Matt was still awake but I was sleepy after that, and since I was drinking vodka, I was really touchy feely. I apologized for that, and Matt laughed.
I pulled him down next to me, and curled up as the big spoon. He grabbed my arm and held it to his chest.
I fell asleep soon after that.
I woke up at some point to him moving to the other side of me (he has a certain side he has to sleep on at night). I curled up with him again, and he didn't resist for a moment.
I really nice evening.

Sunday morning: I woke up completely depressed, started crying, ran to the bathroom, cried for 10 minutes because I knew I loved Matt and Matt didn't love me. Calmed down, read the newest Playboy cover to cover, and brushed my teeth.

Insane? Yes!

I don't know what is wrong with females. Their XX chromosomes fight with each other for no apparent reason. Maybe the X chromosome wore the same shoes as the other X chromosome and they are mad at each other, I don't know, but it PISSES ME OFF when these things happen. Why.... why, why, why... after such an amazing weekend, would I feel that way on Sunday morning.
Not only that, why would I only feel that way for 15 minutes and then read a naked women magazine for the next 15 minutes and feel completely fine.
Why on earth would my mind and emotion decided that because Matt has been nothing but good to me all weekend, that obviously he wouldn't love me.... does that make sense? no.
I felt like slapping my own self.
The rest of Sunday is really good too (so far).
Matt is going to Chicago to visit his mom (she had something which she thought was a stroke, but is ok now, but she is still shaken by the whole thing) and when I left his apartment he said he'd call me so we could hang out if he came back this evening.
I didn't even ask him too, he just said that because... honestly.. I think he wants to hang out with me... so obviously by woman's logic, he doesn't love me... its only the guys who don't want to hang out with me that do love me.

I swear at myself.

What do you think about most?

Ok, I'll give you a word, and you give me the first word that comes to your head.
Ready?

Tree:

Ring:

Woman:

Man:

Angry:

Rare:

How did you do? If you said sex for all of them, then you've got problems.

Lately I've been wondering about my sanity. Sometimes I look at myself and think, "Wow QSW, did you actually just think up the best way to kill your roommate?" or "Wow QSW, why the hell did you date GH, he's got to be one of the most annoying men of your acquaintance?" or my favorite...
"Wow QSW, are you seriously going home? You'd rather spend the evening with an Audrey Hepburn movie and a bottle of wine and not your boyfriend who wants to cuddle? Didn't you want cuddling when he was barely talking to you? Weren't you longing for him to pay attention to you 3 weeks ago? Now what? You have his attention and you're going home for a movie and bottle?"

And yes, I'm talking to myself, usually in the car, so people who see me think I'm singing.
I get very animated when I talk to myself, so it's possible for people to think I'm singing.

I can't say I'm not happy right now.
(raise your hand if you caught the double negative.)
I'm very happy.
(repeat sentence for those who caught the double negative.)
My roommate and GH are driving me insane, but nothing I can't handle.
Matt has done a 180 turn and is the opposite of what he was 3 weeks ago.
It makes me happy, but last night he wanted to hang out and I was like "eh..."
All that time apart from in the the last month, I found myself and what makes me happy.
He makes me happy, but sometimes other things make me more happy.

Oh well, maybe my sanity level is... well... different.

Last night Matt, his friend Jared, and I went out to the bars.
We made friends with the table next to us.
We all started talking to each other and soon the tables had some of each group at them.
It was a really nice mix, and something that doesn't happen often in this town.
Matt and I left early and went back... to do other things... and after that was done, we started worrying about where his friend was.
His friend was going to hang out there some more, and then call us so he could sleep on the spare bed in Matt's apartment.
Matt tried calling him, no answer.
We kind of gave up at 3:30 am and went to bed ourselves.
Matt was really worried and I felt bad for him.
The next morning I had to be at work at 10:30 am.
At 10, I was running around Matt's apartment trying to get ready.
He wakes up, I'm standing at his spare room's door (the spare room contains laundry and his bed that other people sleep on).
He looks at me and worried he says "Are you alright?!"
I smiled and tried not to laugh and said, 'I'm fine, are you ok?"
He says "Yes, Is Jared alright?"
I didn't know what to say, I kind of thought in his half-sleep that he was asking if Jared was in the spare room, so I said, "Jared went home."
He sits up a little more and says "Did he, QSW, did he?" then promptly lays back down and passes out.
I was cracking up.
I was worried about him though, but in my rush to find my cell phone, I found his and saw that he had a miss call from Jared, I didn't worry too much after that, obviously he was alive since the call was at 4:30 am.
Matt wakes up before I leave and I told him he had a missed call from Jared on my way out the door.
Later on that evening, Matt and I were eating dinner and Jared calls 3 times during it.
"You better pick up, even though your eating, he must want something." I told him.
"Yea, yea, I've talked to him once today I don't know what is so important." he said.
He answers and found out that Jared apparently left his jacket in Matt's apartment.
Jared comes over and sits with us while we eat.
Jared apologized for not calling us sooner and I told him that he had Matt and I really worried.
"Well you, but not Matt, he's a guy, he never worries, " he says in jest.
"Oh no?" I said, and then preceded to tell him of Matt's half-sleep conversation with me.
Jared cracked up. I was laughing.
Matt was laughing and he looked bashful.
It was a Hallmark moment for men.

DRAMA

So, I received a text message from GH last night that said "And I ride off .... on the grass."
When he and I were dating we both quoted this episode of Extras with Patrick Stewart.
If you have the extra four minutes it takes to watch it, I highly recommend you doing so.
That text message was a line from that segment.
Laughing, I text message him back asking "What are you doing?"
I knew that the original text message was just something to get my attention, and he had succeeded in doing so. "Oh well," I thought, "there could be worse things that he does for my attention."
The text message I got back was worse.
GH text message: "I'm at Mel's place, Aunt Flo came to visit, wish me luck."
QSW text message: "Go to hell"
GH: "You're right, I'm sorry, forgive me."
GH (again): "Wait, why should I go to hell?"
QSW: "Um gee, I don't know, maybe I should just forward this to Mel and see if she says the same thing about the text message that I did? Better yet, should I assume every time I had the monthly thing that you sent text messages out to your ex girlfriends telling them to pray for you? I don't like Mel that much, but geez, draw a damn line."
GH: You're right, you're right, I'm sorry, I've had a lot of wine, that was dumb of me, forgive me.
QSW: Fine, I forgive you, lay off the wine, drunkard.

I walked into the living room where RHM sat, and asked what she thought of it.
She was horrifed as well.
"I don't like Medusa," she said, "But she doesn't deserve that... (she paused and then went on)... I don't thinks she deserves GH either."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, GH is basically having an emotional affair with you, and Medusa doesn't deserve that." she said.
"Do you think I should change the way I'm handling him?" I asked, "I don't feel as if I'm having an emotional affair away from Matt."
"You aren't," she said, "you tell Matt every time you hang out with GH, I've even been there when GH has text messaged you and you've showed it to Matt. Matt doesn't have to worry about anything, cause you tell him everything. GH doesn't, and Melinda doesn't deserve that."

I had to agree with her. GH wasn't doing anything really bad, he wasn't technically cheating, but the lying was going to catch up with him one day. And on that one day, he would be accused of cheating.
I shrugged my shoulders, and I made a vow to myself not to hang out with GH unless Melinda was there. No matter how much I disliked the woman. It wasn't fair to her, and if GH wouldn't talk to her about it, then the only thing I could do was to make it so he wasn't doing anything to hurt her.
Gawd, Men are frustrating sometimes...

So Matt is best friends forever with a guy named Mark.
Seriously, the only person I've ever seen Matt talk like a little girl about.
"Mark is so awesome, I love Mark, Mark is my friend."
Just kidding... not that bad.

So he never gets to see his BFF because of two reasons:

One: His friend now lives in Indianapolis, which is only an hour away, but still provides some distance to visiting a lot.

Two (and the real reason): Dana. Mark's Girlfriend. Which much to Matt's dismay, is a friend of an ex-girlfriends of HIS. Therefore, because he dated a stripper, and he thought he'd show off and take his buddy Mark to the place she worked, and because they all went out to breakfast afterwards where Dana met up with them... Mark is dating Dana.
All.Matt's.Fault.
Whatever... I have to hear about Dana this and Dana that, EVERY time he comes back from Chicago and gets to see Mark, obviously with Dana.
Mark will drive 3 hours north to see Dana almost every weekend.
Dana is insane.
Seriously.
The girl is looney.
And when she started dating Mark, she was married.
Long story, but she's insane.
She's now planning a wedding with Mark, even though he hasn't proposed.

So.
Matt has been REALLY sweet lately and I felt like doing something nice for him.
So I got him a couple of extra tickets to see Bob Saget next weekend. Two for us, and two extra for whomever he wants to take (I get them free mind you).
At first he looked at the tickets, and couldn't think of who to invite.
I mentioned one of his buddies at work, whom he said he'd invite, and then I said, "Why don't you tell Mark you have one extra ticket if he wants it?"
Matt lit up.
"Good Idea!!" he said.
He immediately sent Mark an e-mail.
Meanwhile the other friend he was inviting declined. Bummer.
He was still really pumped up though, a chance to see his buddy.
An e-mail was finally sent back.
"Wow, man! That would be awesome, I'll definitely be there! Dana said she wants to come too, is there any chance of getting a fourth ticket? Thanks Mark"

Matt was happy and mad at the same time.
He was happy Mark was coming, and MAD that he'd have to deal with Dana.
I just rubbed his shoulders at his computer and said nothing.
My mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

Another Saturday night, and I ain't got no... car..

Prelude # 1: I recently met up with my friend Beau after not seeing him for maybe 2 years. He, ID, myself, and his friend Stewart all sat an Irish pub while Beau and I caught up on life with each other.
I'm not going to lie, Beau is hot, I thought about dating him once, I'm pretty sure he felt the same. After 2 years of not seeing me, he immediately asked if I was still seeing EX and then asked right after if I was seeing someone currently.

Prelude # 2: NotGay and I have been friends for 3 years now. I'm not going to lie, he's hot too. I actually have never thought about dating him though, its odd, he might even been cuter than Beau, but still... nothing... I've never wanted to date him. NG is one of those guys, who unless spoken directly to, will not say anything. He's the Silent Bob of the group, and unless he has just something really important or good to say, he doesn't talk.

I bet you think, dear readers, that you know where this is going, I doubt it.

So Friday night hits, like waves crashing against the rocks, and ID, NG, FN, and I all go to Harry's for the evening. Matt is writing a paper, so even though I told him I was going out, I didn't encourage him to come. At 8 we started the pitchers of beer, and by 9 we are all feeling pretty good. NotGay leans forward to the table and says, "I've got a story for you guys."
Since he never opens his mouth for any story, there were immediate crickets at our table.

"Saturday night (March 31st) I went out with my roommate Josh and got piss drunk. Josh left me because he was following some girl around, and I stumbled out to my car alone," he started.
"Please tell me you didn't drive home drunk..." I said very worried.
"Worse," he said and then continued on, "So I was walking through the parking lot, and I couldn't find my car, so I thought maybe I parked it in the garage. I walked into the garage and approached a car that I believed to be mine.... The next moment I woke up after blacking out, and I was parked in front of my apartment... in a car... that wasn't mine."

If there were crickets before, you could hear a pin drop at this point.

"I went to turn off the car so I could get out, the key wouldn't turn, the car wouldn't shut off and I was at a loss on what to do," he continued, "So after talking with Josh, we decided to just leave the car running in my parking lot, and we both went inside and passed out.
The next day when we got up, the car was still sitting there running, so we decided to return it to its original place. I got into the car, and I found my credit card in the seat, so Josh and I quickly went through the car to find any thing else I might have lost and found out the owner's name is Sarah ******. We parked the car back into the garage, wiped down our prints, and turned and pulled the key out with a pair of pilers... locked the car, and left," he finished off.

For a moment no one said anything.
IrishDrinker recovered first, and said, "Are you serious?"
NG said, "Yea, I'm not making this up, but it was funny, when returned the car, we realized that it was April Fools day."

We all had a good, shocked, nervous, laugh out of that story, and after about the 20th "Are you serious?" question out of someone's mouth, I decided I had to go to the bathroom.

On the way there I ran into Stewart (Beau's friend) and said hi. He asked where we were sitting and I told him, and he left to go say hello to IrishDrinker and FabulouslyNew.
When I got back to the table, Stewart was sitting at it.
I sat down next to FN and NG, and smiled at Stewart, who stood up to shake my hand.
I shook it, looked at him, realized he was wasted, and laughed... this prompted him to say "QSW you are one hot mama," while shaking my hand.
"Aw... I don't have kids," I said in an attempt at a joke.
"Doesn't matter," he said, still holding onto my hand.
"Can I have my hand back?" I finally said.
He sat down and turned his attentions to IrishDrinker.
NotGay was bristling.
"What the hell is wrong with that guy?" he said.
"He's harmless" I said, "Just really drunk."
"I think he wants to sleep with you, you should see how he was looking at you when you walked up to the table." he said, obviously angry.
I gave him a look but said nothing.

NotGay was not one to bristle like that, in fact, many guys have hit on me in front of him and he's said nothing.... hell... Matt has said nothing when guys have done that.

Stewart stood up again, and reached out his hand towards me.
Laughing and taking it, he shook my hand once again, and said, "QSW, can I take you out to dinner sometime?"
Before I could answer, a hand went around my waist and NotGay said, "I don't think my girlfriend should go out on dates with other guys."
Stewart looked a little bummed but then remembered he had a beer in front of him and soon all was right in his world.
NotGay's hand moved from my waist, to rest on my knee and I just stared at the back of his head in disbelief. I looked at FN.
FN mouthed the words "Don't fight it," to me and then started wildly fanning himself.
I rolled my eyes.

At this point I decided to text message Beau and Matt.
To Beau: Stewart seems to have taken a fond regard to me, and my fake boyfriend is going to kick his ass if he doesn't calm down.
To Matt: NotGay stole a car, and now he's pretending to be my boyfriend, how is your evening going?

The response was entertaining..
From Beau: Wait, I thought you had a real boyfriend, I would have asked you out if I had known he was only a fake one.
From Matt: Aw.. you two are like Thelma and Louise except you could have pretty babies together, I'm playing Wii, I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

There was a lot of explaining to do through text messaging to Beau, and I had an even longer conversation with Matt later on when he realized I was serious about the car stealing. Apparently he thought my sarcatic nature was exaggerating the 'car stealing' part.

Over all, interesting night with the bunch.

Positive Bitch

GH and I use to play the game called Katamari.
I recently stole it from him, and stole a playstation from Matt.

Today GH came over for Melinda because she had called me asking to borrow my mixer.
I'm a regular Martha Stewart and she's a regular Betty Crocker.
She sent him to get the mixer, when I even offered to bring it over to her.
Whatever.
I was playing Katamari when he arrived (walking right into my apartment without pausing to knock, just like old times), I had meat defrosting on the counter, and I had a cake mix out on the counter.
"Whatcha up too?" he asks when he waltzes into my room.
Before hearing my response, he sits down on my bed with me, and says "Oooooo, Katamari, remember when you and I would play this game until 4 in the morning, drinking wine?"
A quick judgement of the situation led me to quickly pause the game, say "uh huh" nonchalantly, and walk into my kitchen where the mixer was.
He followed like I knew he would.
"Here it is,"I said and gave him brief instructions on using it.
He saw the food, and asked what I was up too, and like a dumb ass, I told him the truth.
Honesty thing....
"FD, RHM, and I are going to eat dinner then watch LOTR." I said.
"Oh awesome, can Melinda and I join you?" he said.
"Uh... sure" I said, without much thought before saying "sure."
"Great" he said, and like that he was out the door, leaving me wondering why the hell I just said what I said.
"Oh well," I thought, "Melinda won't want to come over here and she owns his balls."
Of course, I was wrong.
So now I've spent an evening of GH and Melinda... I'm so irritated right now I could spit at them.
Melinda first beats down my brother with her idiotic behavior and womanly wiles making him change into something he wasn't, and now I'm watching GH doing the same which is not something I wished for him.
Best part yet.... Melinda is a virgin, saving it for Mr. Right... she hates even fooling around.
I have no idea what she does to get men to run around after her.
IN fact my brother's number one complaint about her (he'd bitch up a storm when he went out to the bars without her) was the fact that she loved to sleep naked, but if he TOUCHED her she'd slap him really hard, sometimes when he didn't even mean too.
Fucking cock tease.
Melinda is very gorgeous with little to NO self esteem.
She has long braids in her hair that makes her look almost Jamacian.
My nickname for her is "Medusa."
At the end of the evening FN and RHM were the only two there, and they both looked at me smirking, and asking "How was your evening?"

"Medusa can eat my cunt," I retorted, which is language I don't use and something I wouldn't say even with better language, they also didn't know my nickname for her.
FN was crying he laughed so hard, RHM's laugh was pure evil.
"You are a positive bitch" he says "you may be a bitch but you're never negative or nagging or complaining, you are just positively hilarious."

RHM - Last night she walks into my room and says she's driving two hours south of us for a booty call with an ex boyfriend. I shook my head in disbelief.
She asked why, and I told her that every time she goes to see this guy, she comes back and for the next 3 days she is depressed, and usually wanting to drink, since she's in AA now, I didn't think this was a good idea for her.
She agreed, and then went anyway.

ID - I have barely seen this man in the last two weeks. We both decided not to drink during the week (which I don't unless Matt tells me too.. haha) and therefore we can't ever seem to hang out.
Last night we had planned to hang out, when a friend of his came in from out of town and plans were squashed.

Matt - He's almost done with his paper. I saw him briefly yesterday when I came to steal his Playstation, and he told me that he thought he'd finish it up that night. Wonderful news, because I didn't like being his anger release. Actually come to think of it... maybe I did... the sex was fantastic.... hmmm... I'll have to think on that one.

GH - Uh, bad idea going to Chicago with him. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming. GH is like a buddy of mine, but since he has seen me naked, I don't think we can ever be friends.
Text message from him last night while Melinda was asleep in his bed: Hey, do you think if Mel and I hadn't gotten together that you and I would have gotten married?
Ut oh, spaghetti O's.

FN - My gay boyfriend, who loves boobs, broke up with his boyfriend. Seemed kind of excited about it and was on top of his wit and sarcasm. I was flipping through a magazine and I stopped and looked a dress worth 2,300 dollars, gasped and said:
"Oh my god, I only paid 25 bucks for my prom dress!" to which he replied:
"What was it, two band-aids and a cork?"

So with ID and FN gone(he decided to visit friends in other areas) and RHM gone from my apartment, GH that I'm avoiding, and Matt still busy... I did my homework, made myself toast with black raspberry jelly and Earl Grey tea, sat down on the floor of my room with my newely stolen Playstation and played Katamari until I was sleepy.

It was lovely.

Where do I begin?
I'm currently sitting in a parking lot, in Chicago, waiting for GH to finish his interview.
Maybe I should start with Matt.
Matt and I are not broken up, and he knows I'm in Chicago right now with GH.
Melinda doesn't know.
That catches the gist of the situation, doesn't it?

Now it's time for Once upon a time...

Yesterday morning, I awoke at 6 am after having a nightmare that consisted of Leatherface chasing me around with a chainsaw, and for some reason the only thing that was helping me stay alive was Saran wrapping my nipples.
That being said, at 6 am when awoke, I wasn't sure if I should laugh at my nipples or cry at Leatherface.
So I just got up for the day.
As I took a shower, I remembered the night before and Matt and everything flooded back into my memory (nipples and Leatherface will make you forget a lot). I knew I shouldn't call or talk to him.
I wrote a blog post, because that was my only safe way of releasing the frustration I had.
GH called around 11am and asked if he could use my car for Thursday.
I asked why, and it turns out, his car was in the shop and Melinda had originally loaned her car, but her parents found out and were upset that she wasn't the one driving it. GH needed to get to Chicago for his interview and was in panic mode.
I didn't care, so I told him I'd hand over the keys to him at Elections that night.
I went to class, then to work, then home, then to Elections which were being held by my service fraternity.
When I saw GH there, I walked over to him. Melinda was running for something so she was getting ready. "Here are your keys, my dear." I said sort of sarcastically.
"Will you come with me?" he asked.
"Why on earth would I?" I asked.
"I need help finding an apartment, and Melinda keeps wanting to go with me to look, but honestly I don't want her opinion because I know I won't be with her at the time that I move." he said.
"And I will be?" I asked.
"No, but you are completely honest with every thought and verbal utterance." he said.
I couldn't disagree with that, my honesty usually gets me into trouble, so I agreed to help him out.
Maybe I was feeling a little hostility with Matt, maybe because it was a free trip to Chicago and Dunkin' Donuts(we, do not have DD in Indiana), but either way, I was kind of looking forward to it.
I sat down, and Elections began.
About 30 minutes into it, right after Melinda's speech, I got a text message.
"God," I thought, "What does GH want now?"
Turns out, it was Matt.
Matt text: Are you going to be in Elections all evening?
QSW text: No, God I hope not, I think I'm leaving here regardless at 8:30.
Matt text: Want to watch a movie around then?
QSW text: Sure, why not, as long as you don't feel like you need to work.
Matt text: No, I've worked all day, I need a break.
I was there until 9, before I had the chance of slipping out.
I arrived on Matt's doorstep 10 minutes later.

Matt: I thought you ditched me.
QSW: Aww.. no, I'm not that big of a bitch, I just couldn't skip out until now.
Matt: Have you eaten?
QSW: No... are you cooking?
Matt: No, I'm taking you out. (pause, which made me look at him) I'm sorry I was such a dickhead last night, I don't know what got into me.
QSW: (shoulder shrug) I'm sorry I was so annoying last night.
After that it was dropped. No need to further draw out the matter.
He bought me mexican food and we came back with that and a movie.

Do not ever watch the movie "Idiocrasy" I dont' care if it's free on the TV, do not waste your time.

Matt seemed very needy that night.
He kept kissing me, and stroking my hair.
I almost said, "I went into this relationship knowing you were sometimes a dick, I'm not going to dump you over it."
Because thats what it felt like, like he wanted reassurance that I was still happy.
I told him about my trip to Chicago with GH.
He questioned it at first, but when I told him the "honest comments" part, he seemed to completely understand GH's motives.
Reminder: Matt does not know GH was my ex. I have tried to tell him but he has refused to listen. Matt even said on St. Patty's day that GH was an awesome guy that we should hang out with more... I was kind of horrified at that point.
I woke up the next morning, after spending a really good evening with Matt, to GH calling me.
We were to leave in an hour.
Ugh.
I got up, showered, clothed myself, and walked to my car.
GH bought me Starbucks and we were on the road.
"How was your evening?" he asked.
I told him and he acted a little jealous, then thoughtful.
"You told Matt you were going to Chicago with me?" he asked.
"Yes, didn't you tell Melinda that you were borrowing my car and traveling with me there?" I asked.
"Well, I told her about the car, but not about you." he said.

Apparently I am more honest than the average person.
I would think withholding information like that would be a big no-no to any relationship.

Today in my office I had almost nothing to do.
I just sat around and did things for my service fraternity, like press releases, news letter, etc.
At one point I was just answering phones and stacking papers and stapling them.

The new girl came into my work area (i wasn't actually at my desk) to print something.
"Do you actually get paid to do this job?" she said with a I-think-that-you-do-absolutely-nothing-for-this-job-therefore-I'm-new-but-still-better sneer.

I turned to face her when she said this.
"Yes, I use to do your job also, but refused to take your position because I was getting the web developer's job." I said with a girl-you-just-joined-an-office-staff-of-12-people-and-I've-been-here-3-years-making-me-4th-longest-retaining-a-job-here-so-even-if-you-don't-like-it-I'm-your-new-best-friend-because-half-of-this-office-staff-still-comes-to-me-first-with-any-questions-they-might-have smirk.

She stood for a moment's hesitation, holding the paper she had just received from the printer, and then finished off with an "Oh" and a smile that said oh-my-god-I-didn't-know-that-someone-so-young-would-actually-have-some-power-in-a-corporate-like-office.

Men, see how much women read into a smile or a smirk or a frown.
No wonder we ask a lot of questions when it comes to feelings.
Imagine not being able to read those smirks and sneers.... it would be like.... being a man.

So I'm really hurt right now.
Last night I stopped by Matt's place to pick up something.
He knew I was coming, and I told him it would be no more than a "Hi" and "Bye" between us.
When I got there, he asked what I was doing the rest of the night.
Not much I said, and as I turned to go, he asked me if I wanted to go out with him and his buddy Jared.
I was kind of shocked that he was going out, but I didn't say anything.
You can only write so much before enough is enough.
I went out with them.
I got a little tipsy, and Matt teased me more than usual.
I started pinching him.
It lasted all of a minute.
It was annoying, but should have been understandable.
He, in front of his friend, said something along the lines of "Why don't you call RHM to come pick you up?"
I brushed it off as a joke, but the rest of the evening he was very cold.
We left.
He got stopped by someone inside and I was freezing outside with Jared, so I looked at Jared and said, "I don't know where he is but I'm going home."
I meant Matt's apartment, and that was the place I walked too.
Matt and Jared get back and after finishing their Taco Hell, Jared immediately left.
I got up to go, because I had called RHM and told her to come pick me up.
He asked where I was going, and I told him.
And what happened next surprised me.
He blamed me for not letting him write.
He said that he liked to come home after drinking, read over what he's already wrote, and stuff seems to make better sense.
"What's stopping you right now?" I said.
"Well, I'm tired now, and I can't believe you started pinching me." he said.
I immediately apologized for doing that.
He still acted very mad. And threw in my face that I had said I was walking "home" so he didn't expect me here when he got home... (and the way he said home made me want to slap him)
I was just shocked.
"I'm a good girl you know?" I said.
"I know" he said.
"I've never gotten in the way of you writing before, I try to avoid you when you write." I said.
"I know, I appreciate it." He said.
"If you had said 'Jared and I are going drinking, i need some time with my friends' I would have left and not bugged you the rest of the night." I said.
"I know." he said.
He still was cold.
I got up and got my car keys, he looked concerned, "Where are you going?" he asked.
"Home" I said.
"You aren't ok to drive," he said.
"Yes I am, I'll be fine." I said.
I switched off his lights, and walked out the door.
Now it's the next morning, and every fiber in me wants to drive to his apartment and ask him "Why?"
I know I can't.
I have to take my own advice, and leave him alone.
If I don't, I'll only make matters worse.

So I didn't watch this show until this season.
And I LOVE it.
Matt and I got tricked into watching the first episode this season.
ID and RHM said that we should come over because they were cooking.
Sigh.
Ok...I can't turn down free food.
When we got there, 24 was all that they were talking about.
Oh no.
Matt looked at me, I rolled my eyes.
He shrugged his shoulders like "Oh well, we are here anyway."

He and I were hooked after the first two hours of it.
Now its a weekly ritual to sit in his apartment with food, between the hours of 9:00 and 10:00 pm.
This week... steaks and the hour between 9:00 pm and 10:00 pm.

****Update****

So I went over there at 8:30, and while I was standing in his kitchen cooking, he came into the room and ranted for 20 minutes about his day, his friends, his pre lim, and how writing sucks. I listened and cooked.
He finally felt better and asked how my day went.
I told him how I was going to be broke for the next week (buying meds for my eye, the insurance I have states that I have to buy the meds, and THEN get reimbrused for them... sigh).
He looked really concerned and said "Do you want money for the week, I just got paid yesterday, I can run to the ATM right now and get some money for you..."

Matt is bad at compliments, he's bad at giving gifts, he can't deal with emotion very well... but sometimes he just floors me.

I refused, but I felt very cared for at the same time.
We watched 24, and during an episode of Scrubs afterwards, I cleaned, and he laughed.
After it was done, I walked in and shut off the TV.
"You're right, the idiot tube is keeping me from working." he said.
I smiled, kissed him goodbye, and left.
I think I do the same thing for him as he does for me.

Playboy

This magazine always makes me smile.

Why you ask?

Because of the way girls act around it, and the way guys act around it.

Now, I'm one of those girls(and there are many of us) that actually enjoys looking at it and reading the articles. I'm comfortable with my sexuality and the naked women in it are very beautiful.
But there are girls out there, who get bent out of shape over it. They whine and hate the fact that their boyfriend might look at it (and in reality probably owns several).

Let's look at the men's part of it.
Matt owns a subscription to it. Every month he gets it, and if I'm not with him at the time of its arrival, he shows me it the minute I get to his apartment. He talks about it and I make comments on it as well.

It wasn't until Saturday night when I was turning on his shower, in his bathroom, that I realized where they go.
On top of his radiator,
Next to his ash tray,
Which is by his toliet.

Not the place that a man would masterbate, more the place that a man would sit back and think and read.

When I saw that I started laughing.
Matt walked in while I was laughing and asked what was so funny.
I pointed to the Playboy.
"Not the place where most men would read it..." I said.
"What do you think I masterbate to that? Oh my gosh, those women are so air brushed and polished its retarded," he said.

I never knew airbrushing and a polished look was a turn off to men.

He leaned in close to me, putting his hand in a fashion towards my rump, and said, "Besides, I think you keep me statisfied enough that I don't need to masterbate to fake women."

In the 14 months I've dated him, I don't think I've ever received such a better compliment.