So I'm really hurt right now.
Last night I stopped by Matt's place to pick up something.
He knew I was coming, and I told him it would be no more than a "Hi" and "Bye" between us.
When I got there, he asked what I was doing the rest of the night.
Not much I said, and as I turned to go, he asked me if I wanted to go out with him and his buddy Jared.
I was kind of shocked that he was going out, but I didn't say anything.
You can only write so much before enough is enough.
I went out with them.
I got a little tipsy, and Matt teased me more than usual.
I started pinching him.
It lasted all of a minute.
It was annoying, but should have been understandable.
He, in front of his friend, said something along the lines of "Why don't you call RHM to come pick you up?"
I brushed it off as a joke, but the rest of the evening he was very cold.
We left.
He got stopped by someone inside and I was freezing outside with Jared, so I looked at Jared and said, "I don't know where he is but I'm going home."
I meant Matt's apartment, and that was the place I walked too.
Matt and Jared get back and after finishing their Taco Hell, Jared immediately left.
I got up to go, because I had called RHM and told her to come pick me up.
He asked where I was going, and I told him.
And what happened next surprised me.
He blamed me for not letting him write.
He said that he liked to come home after drinking, read over what he's already wrote, and stuff seems to make better sense.
"What's stopping you right now?" I said.
"Well, I'm tired now, and I can't believe you started pinching me." he said.
I immediately apologized for doing that.
He still acted very mad. And threw in my face that I had said I was walking "home" so he didn't expect me here when he got home... (and the way he said home made me want to slap him)
I was just shocked.
"I'm a good girl you know?" I said.
"I know" he said.
"I've never gotten in the way of you writing before, I try to avoid you when you write." I said.
"I know, I appreciate it." He said.
"If you had said 'Jared and I are going drinking, i need some time with my friends' I would have left and not bugged you the rest of the night." I said.
"I know." he said.
He still was cold.
I got up and got my car keys, he looked concerned, "Where are you going?" he asked.
"Home" I said.
"You aren't ok to drive," he said.
"Yes I am, I'll be fine." I said.
I switched off his lights, and walked out the door.
Now it's the next morning, and every fiber in me wants to drive to his apartment and ask him "Why?"
I know I can't.
I have to take my own advice, and leave him alone.
If I don't, I'll only make matters worse.