Picture Friday.

I'm missing an eye in this picture. Its what happens when you aren't use to bangs, you have been drinking, and your friend says "QSW look here and smile!"

I'm going to tell everyone that I just lost my eye (Oh look, there it is over to the right!)


RHM and myself. Look, my eye has returned.


This is me, singing "I believe in a thing called love" by The Darkness, to RHM. She did not appreciate my rendition.


I live with this man. Why. I don't know. Well, I guess I do. He thought I was in trouble last night and ran 6 blocks to make sure I was ok.
Long story, but I almost dumped NG last night. The other man that looks like a Lumber Jack is one of my very good friends, whom I don't have a name for.

Ok, back to pictures.


This girl likes the Lumberjack but is playing cat and mouse with him.
At some point, I got fed up with her and put my finger in the salsa, put it on the Lumberjack's face, and then licked it off.
She practically sat in his lap the rest of the night.

Yes... that is ID... I swear he only looks like that 90% of the time.


These are the things that are bad for me, yet, I still manage to do them.
Yes, even my phone.
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Change of theme:



MM and MW's baby. Isn't she cute. I see her every Tuesday and Thursday. I hold her on my lunch break so that MM and MW can eat their lunch.
She is 3 months old, and still looks smaller than that baby below this post!

After reading today's news...

...I've decided against ever having kids.




Read about it here.

The alcoholic Irish Drinker

Last night I met NG's mom, and brother, and brother, and step dad, and brother's girlfriend.
Alllllll at the last-minute-wow-i-can't-believe-I-am-meeting-them-right- now-this-was-unexpected time.

Afterwards we went back to my place and hung out together.
ID came home after his football game was rained out.
This was at 8:15pm.
He started drinking scotch, and he had a half a bottle of it to last him all of the night.
NG and I went inside to watch a movie.
NG wanted to watch "The Cutting Edge" and I curled up with him wondering how I got to meet his mom and watch a chick flick all in one evening.
Around 10:30ish the movie ended and we went out to see ID.
ID had finished the scotch and was now drinking my Pinot Noir.
I should say CHUGGING my wine.

I tried not to be angry.
A man who has no taste buds from the amount of cigarettes he smokes and the amount of alcohol he drinks, still can enjoy a glass of wine...
He was on his last cigarette as well... after having most of a pack before NG and I went inside.

"You are going to feel pain in the morning," I said, "mixing wine and scotch... the thought makes me want to puke."

I was being serious when I said this, however mad I might have been, this was said in pity for his stomach.


"Oh my GOD, QSW," he said with just utter disdain, "you don't know shit when it comes to drinking and I will be fine in the morning."
He spat these words and slurred his speech.
"Well, maybe since you are Irish, but its been my personal knowledge that drinking grapes and grains in the same night is a bad idea, especially at the amount you have (the wine bottle was half gone)." I explained to him.
"You are just being a bitch," he spat, "watch, I'll be up for work at 6am feeling fine. (pause) Hey man, can I borrow a cigarette from you?"
The last part he said to NG.
I went inside, pissed, and NG followed after a moment.
"Hun, don't get upset, he's really drunk and I'm sure he's just pissed that Amanda didn't come over so he's taking it out on you," NG tried to be reassuring.
"I know, it's probably all those things, I just still want to put his balls in a vice and set him on fire," I said.
"Remind me never to make you mad," NG said.

This morning I heard ID get up at 6:15am.
I rolled over in my bed and thought, "Wow, I was really wrong."
I felt that way until I heard him throwing up.
I heard him trample back to bed.
At 7:45am right before I went to work, I peered into his room.
He was still there asleep and he was suppose to be at work at 7am.

Since I'm a kind, caring, person I won't say anything to him.
But here....
NA NA NA NA NA, I'M RIGHT YOU ARE WRONG!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
SUCKER!
HOW DOES THAT HEADACHE FEEL?! GREAT?!
THAT'LL TEACH YOU FOR DRINKING ALL MY WINE!!

Thank you for listening.

Love bites.

I use to work at a hotel. Anyone who has ever worked in the food/customer service/hotel industry wants to get a college degree after working there for 6 months. Some of the most memorable things were listening to the kitchen staff talk about our head cook's appetite for sex with sheep, our new waitress literally crying over spilled milk, and the housekeepers coming up to the front desk with hickies all over their necks.
The last one is the thing I want to talk about.
Is a hickie ever a good thing? I remember in high school it was, it was a mark that you somehow were an older and wiser person because you let someone suck your neck so hard that the blood burst underneath the skin. You go girl(or guy i guess). I remember the housekeepers thought they were having a better sex life because they allowed some drug-ridden man go at there neck like they'd find cocaine underneath the skin. They all looked like trashy whores to me.
Then this weekend came.
I got a hickie.
It was completely by accident(aka, heat of the moment), and even though NG was a gentleman about it and apologized profusely about it when he saw it in the morning, it was still there, red, blaring, ugly.
I quickly dispatched to RHM to bring the concealer.
Since she's darker complexion than I, the concealer covered it, but made it look like I had a bruise there. So I put another dab of concealer on the opposite side of my neck and made it look like the first one.
When RHM saw it she asked me if I had lost all my marbles.
"No," I said, "this way if anyone asks, I can say someone put me in a choke hold and I got bruises from it."

She just stared at me for a moment.

"Why, QSW Dear, would that somehow be better than a hickie?" she asked.


I don't know, I had no answer for her. I would rather people think that I got put into a choke hold by NG than for people to think that NG got carried away and kissed to hard on my neck.

Any answers for me dear bloggers?

Just remembered, Matt had a blog.

I decided to open it, I doubted he wrote in it, but I was curious.
To my surprise, he had.

It was a very long rant on how that single man doesn't need a broad to corrupt his life.

I laughed, and wondered if I had written something on my blog around that time. I thought, possibly, that Matt might have opened my blog, read it, and decided to go on a rant on his blog.

I looked, this is what was probably on front page.

Here is Matt's rant: Sugar Titties.

I cheated myself... like I knew I would.

I have had sex.
Not real sex.
Cyber sex.
Having never experienced cyber sex, it was fascinating to watch the words pop up on my screen, one after another, thoughts entering my head, blood rushing to my face, yet still feeling safe knowing that one delete button would make everything I said, go away.

I'll write about it as if it actually happened instead of two people completely lusting over it.

"Let's go to the guest house," he said.
After miles of driving, we arrived at the guest house which was located back in some wooded area away from the highway. We entered in the house, and tried to make small talk to ease some of the nervousness away from the situation. He leaned over to me and whispered "I want you," in my ear.
It was like the dam opened and the water gushed out of after being held back for years. He grabbed the back of my thighs, lifted me up to him and carried me all the way to the bedroom.


Why am I writing this out? You guys don't want to hear the Harlequin romance part of my life!

I crown myself Miss Lusty...

... So I believe I'm going to write something here for later, just for all my naughty blog friends. Right now, it has to be work related, because I am, at work.

So I have Y! messenger on at work. I have friends in their offices with Y! on at work. Sometimes we all chat and get nothing done, and sometimes we feed off of each others creativity and ideas.
Today we were having a sarcastic day, until one of my friends had a break down with an Asian woman.
"This woman is smart as hell, and I think she's just playing games with me!" he starts in.
We all asked him what was going on.
"I sent her this e-mail and she's doing almost the exact opposite of what I asked her to do! I had this e-mail proof read by two different 'English as a second language' people and both of them understood it and could follow my directions!" he said, really upset.

Since I was still in sarcastic mode, I said, "Why don't you send her a picture of what you want, and beside the things you want changed you can draw little paint shop arrows to it."

"Great idea, QSW." he said sarcastically back.

An hour later I got BCCed on an e-mail with a picture in it that looked like this:

Actors From The London Stage

What a piece of work is man
How noble in reason
How infinite in faculties
In form and moving
How express and admirable
In action how like an angel
In apprehension how like a god
The beauty of the world
The paragon of animals

I have of late
But wherefore I know not
Lost all my mirth
This goodly frame
The earth
Seems to me a sterile promontory
This most excellent canopy
The air-- look you!
This brave o'er hanging firmament
This majestical roof
Fretted with golden fire
Why it appears no other thing to me
Than a foul and pestilent congregation
Of vapors

So I have Shakespearean actors running around my office all week. They are here to perform Macbeth on Friday and Saturday, but during the week they are doing a special program where they go into some of our classrooms and basically teach a class.

With their purring British accents and creative use of swear words, I haven't minded a bit. It's always a trip for me when I pour my coffee and a British man walks in after me and says, "Bloody Hell, you Americans make your coffee strong!"
Since I live in Indiana and usually the coffee here looks like brown water, I feel complimented by that instead of insulted (I make the coffee).
Yesterday I escorted one of the actors around campus and to his classrooms so that he wouldn't get lost. Since it was about a ten minute walk from his hotel, he decided to ask some thoughtful questions, one was, "Why do Americans think that a British accent is so sexy?"
I laughed at first, and then after the awkward laughed died away I said, "I think its the same reason that they like the Aussie accent, it's understandable, yet different."
It was replied with, "So different is good then?"
"No, not really different. You'll notice most of the girls here don't chase after Asian men, or Indian men, because they are too different. Americans don't like change, but they are always ready to have something new and in style."
"Well that's sort of depressing dontcha think?" he asked.

Yes. Actor Dan. Yes it is.

LustyMcLusterton

Have you ever lusted after someone?

You know you could date them if you wanted too. You know that they are something that you couldn't see yourself with long term... but still... you fantasize and want them more than anything else.

Imagine seeing a guy, meeting his parents, talking to his friends, and the whole time all you can think about is seeing him naked, or kissing him, or worse, having sex with him.
He's not even your significant other, your significant other is sitting at home wondering why you haven't called them back.

Is this how guys think on a regular basis? I've been told its something like this.
How do you get anything done?

There is one simple, diverse word to describe my life right now.

It's definition and pronunciation give perfect light onto my situation and emotion behind the actions I must take.

The word of the day?

Fucked.



Monty Python said it best:
" Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word fuck. Of all the English words beginning with f, fuck is the single one referred to as the "f-word". It's the one magical word. Just by it's sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most of the other words in English, has arrived from Germany. Fuck from German's "fliechen" which mean to strike. In English, fuck folds into many grammatical categories. As a transitional verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley". As an intransitive verb; "Shirley fucks". It's meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as; John's doing all the fucking work. As part of an adverb; "Shirley talks too fucking much", as an adverb enhancing an adjective; Shirley is fucking beautiful. As a noun; "I don't give a fuck". As part of a word: "abso-fucking-lutely" or "in-fucking-credible". Or as almost every word in a sentence: "fuck the fucking fuckers!". As you must realize, there aren't many words with the versatility such as the word fuck, as in these examples used as the following words;
- fraud: "I got fucked"
- trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now"
- dismay: "Oh, fuck it!"
- aggression: "don't fuck with me, buddy!"
- difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question"
- inquiry: "who the fuck was that?"
- dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here"
- incompetence: "he's a fuck-off!"
- dismissal: "why don't you go outside and fuck yourself?"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word?
Use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly: FUCK YOU"

Off with her head!

Yesterday:

- Got 7 inches of my hair cut off plus I added bangs
- Bought ID a bottle of Johnny Walker Black as an appreciation gift, because he's allowing me to throw a party for RHM on Saturday.
- ID came home and said he had a really bad day. I told him about the Johnny Walker, and he proceeded to CHUG his first glass and gulp his second glass.
- Realized ID must have had a bad day, I asked him what it was about.
- ID proceeded to tell the story, but did it in a fashion as follows:
"So today was a bad day"
"Why?"
"Because worked sucked so bad, ever get so mad that you could get sick?"
"Yes, what happened?"
"Well, they are on a witch hunt at work."
(pause)
(pause)
(pause)
"Yes.........."
"And so my boss pulls me aside today and tells me that her and Amanda's job might be in jeopardy."
(after another pause) "Why does this have to do with you?"
"It doesn't"
(pause)
(pause)
"So... what about your bad day?" (I'm wearing thin at this point)
"My bad day came when Jose decided to stab me in the back."
(pause)
(pause)
"And......How.... Did.... he.... do....that...."
"Oh, I over heard a conversation I wasn't suppose to hear between him and Tom."
(pause)
(QSW cracks)
"JESUS H. ROOSEVELT CHRIST! SPIT OUT THE DAMN STORY ALREADY!"
"What crawled up your ass and died?"

-RHM shows up, and we open a bottle of wine to drink on the porch.
-ID follows us there and after his 4th straight glass of ice and Johnny he becomes REALLY DEPRESSED.
-I try to ask him what is the matter but he doesn't say anything.
-I ignore him and text message RHM saying, "Hey lets get a drink out, I think ID wants to be left alone"
-We leave. Amanda (different from the first one mentioned) comes over to help out ID.
-ID is just sitting on the couch at this point not talking.
-I go out for an hour with RHM and my next door neighbor.
-When I come back, ID is COMPLETELY fine and Amanda is there.
(there is a lot of back story to all of these events which I don't have the energy to write out)
-I don't want to be in the apartment at this point, so I text message NG.
-I got to NG's apartment after he responds with 'come on over, bring a movie'
-I arrive curl up with NG, watch part of Breach, go to sleep.
-Wake up today at 6:30am so I have enough time to drive home, take a shower, get ready and get to work by 8am.
- Car won't start.
- Call boss tell her I'm going to be late.
- NG's day off is today, so I let him sleep, finally at 8am waking him up.
- He calls me silly and kisses me, then hops up and gets dressed so he can drive me home.

On the way home this morning I told NG, "Wow, for it being 8AM on your day off, you are awfully happy to be driving me around."
"Well, I got 8 hours of sleep, I slept next to a beautiful woman who then let me sleep in even when she needed my help, and this is a brand new car which I adore so I'm happy to be your chauffer."
"Good because I'll need a ride back to my car at some point."
"Any time, babe."

I traded one nasty, ugly man for one pleasant, handsome man.
Good call on my part.



Anyone read the Stephanie Plum series?
NG reminds me of Ranger sometimes.

HBFN & Topsy Tuesday

The knife slipped and was stopped by a bone ... in my hand.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FN!

I know you'll never forget your 24th birthday.

(especially me drinking to make my hand stop throbbing and passing out early.)


***************************************************

This morning was almost ruined.

I sat down on the bus, paper in one hand, coffee balanced between my thigh and arm because it hurt to hold it in my left hand.
A lady got on two stops after mine.
She sat down really close to me, even though the bus was pretty much empty.
Annoying.
I continued to read ignoring her.

At some point the bus jolted, and I had to put down the paper to grab my coffee.
I sat there sipping it for a minute, and before I could pick up the paper again, the lady asked me a question.

"Are you pregnant?"

If I had had coffee in my mouth I would have sprayed it on her.
I just stared at her for an awkward moment, then I looked down at myself and back at her and said, "I wear a size 2, why do you think I'm pregnant?"

"You have a glow about you and I thought maybe it was because you were," she said, completely unabashed at my horrified face.

"No, I'm not," I said, in shock, but after a moment realizing that it was completely and 110% true based on what I knew about myself and NG.

Thank God, because she could have really ruined my Tuesday. I think a higher power is sending me a message that birth control pills are probably a good idea to add on top of condoms... so I'm going to go with it and put myself on them tomorrow.

I'm not superstitious but I don't pass on obvious signs.
******************************************
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd two.

Today, at 4pm, we had bells go off for 2 minutes in remembrance for people who were killed during 9/11/01.

The director, who rarely talks to me and didn't check his e-mail, asked what was going on during the ringing of the bells.
The assistant director told him.
He said, "Oh, I thought maybe QSW was getting married!"
I stopped what I was doing to give him a look.
"Aw, QSW, I know you are dying to settle down and have children!" he said.

No, Mr. Director, I'm not ready.
I don't want to pop out babies right now.
And you know what FN says about you?
He says you married your wife as a nice cover up,
For BEING GAY!

If only you could say things sometimes...

"I have this thing about saxophone players, especially tenor sax...

...I don't know what it is, but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come to Me, My Melancholy Baby," and my spine turns to custard, I get goosepimply all over, and I come to them." -Monroe

I can no longer go running with ABNB.

I'm fairly sure he's desperately in love with me. I only say this after 15 text messages which I didn't respond too, showing up at my apartment unannounced, inviting me to several different things with NG sitting there, and standing in my room watching me while I was trying to talk on the phone.
This happened all in one evening.
NG was upset with him.
I was upset with him.
NG left early, which made me upset cause I didn't want to be left with just him and ID, so I left too.

It was a long night.

Last night, I came over to NG's house to talk about it. I had already called ABNB that day and told him that we couldn't go running anymore because people were getting the wrong impression about him and I and that wasn't fair to NG.
I thought it was the best way to dump him.
NG was still upset with ABNB even after I told him that I wasn't going running with him, I can understand, if this was some girl and NG I'd be pissed.
Our conversation took a turn for the worse though... and we started talking about "us," which is something I didn't think we needed to talk about.
After a few minutes of this conversation it was clear that NG was trying to figure out how much of this situation was ABNB and how much of it was me encourging ABNB into liking me. That switched into me talking on the phone when he, his roommate, ABNB, and ID were all at my house... And me text messaging in a similar situation... And was I bored with him... And did I do those things because I wanted to be away from him? And etc. etc.

I was suddenly defending myself. I was not happy.
After the third time of defending myself, I finally said, "NG, I think you are confused and you don't know what you want."
It was mean, but I felt hurt at the mistrust in his questioning.

"Why would you say that?" he asked me.

I explained that sometimes I feel that he doesn't trust me (like then) and sometimes he's completely happy with me. Since I've gotten this feeling more recently, I feel like its him deciding on whether he wants me in his life or not.
He grabbed my hand, looked at me seriously, and said, "I know exactly what I want."


If you were reading a script for a romantic comedy rather than my blog you would have read this:

At end of NG's line, QSW tackles him into his bed taking off both person's clothes, NG protests at first but then realizes quickly that QSW is not taking "no" for an answer.

Since this isn't a romantic comedy and just my blog, I'll say the following:

I got goosebumps up and down my arm, and at the same time, realized rather foolishly that he was only trying to figure out if I wanted to be in this relationship or not.
Silly women.

Lx-nay on the condescension-ay

"I don't want you to walk away from this thinking I am mad at the whole you and ABNB's thing of running, I'm just mad because you didn't tell me you guys were running."

"Yes I did."

"No, you didn't, he just told me the other day, 'QSW is getting much better at running.'"

"NG, the other night when your roommate had a 15 minute rant about how he was going to go running with ABNB's favorite waitress and after it I asked you if you were mad that we were, you said 'NO' and I know I told you about it before then, because you and your roommate talked about it which is why he felt he could go on a rant about it."

"You didn't tell me about the recent times."

"Recent times? Its only been a week and a half since that night, and I've only been running with ABNB 3 times since then. Most of the time I go running by myself."

"Well that makes this sound stupid."

(QSW hold back all impulse to say, "It is stupid.") "Well, NG, I think you are getting ahead of yourself with being upset about this."

"I'm not upset."

(QSW, wants to sigh very loudly)"Ok, you aren't upset about the whole ABNB thing and myself, I understand. I just meant, you are upset now with the situation."

"Yea."

"Man, we've had a lot of these little tiffs lately. First me with the DVD and then you with the ABNB thing."

"Yea, So, what are you trying to say?"

"I think you like me a lot."

(grins)"Well, yea, why else would I put up with this?"

"Yea, I guess I like you too." (winks)

To comment or not to comment:

A drunk friend trying to describe me:

"You are a rock-n-roll, firecracker, drinking machine, on a mission from God.
Bless your little soul."

Is this from a movie?


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My office keeps giving me more and more Jim Gaffigan tickets, I'm up to 4 free tickets.
Who to take?!