"I have this thing about saxophone players, especially tenor sax...

...I don't know what it is, but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come to Me, My Melancholy Baby," and my spine turns to custard, I get goosepimply all over, and I come to them." -Monroe

I can no longer go running with ABNB.

I'm fairly sure he's desperately in love with me. I only say this after 15 text messages which I didn't respond too, showing up at my apartment unannounced, inviting me to several different things with NG sitting there, and standing in my room watching me while I was trying to talk on the phone.
This happened all in one evening.
NG was upset with him.
I was upset with him.
NG left early, which made me upset cause I didn't want to be left with just him and ID, so I left too.

It was a long night.

Last night, I came over to NG's house to talk about it. I had already called ABNB that day and told him that we couldn't go running anymore because people were getting the wrong impression about him and I and that wasn't fair to NG.
I thought it was the best way to dump him.
NG was still upset with ABNB even after I told him that I wasn't going running with him, I can understand, if this was some girl and NG I'd be pissed.
Our conversation took a turn for the worse though... and we started talking about "us," which is something I didn't think we needed to talk about.
After a few minutes of this conversation it was clear that NG was trying to figure out how much of this situation was ABNB and how much of it was me encourging ABNB into liking me. That switched into me talking on the phone when he, his roommate, ABNB, and ID were all at my house... And me text messaging in a similar situation... And was I bored with him... And did I do those things because I wanted to be away from him? And etc. etc.

I was suddenly defending myself. I was not happy.
After the third time of defending myself, I finally said, "NG, I think you are confused and you don't know what you want."
It was mean, but I felt hurt at the mistrust in his questioning.

"Why would you say that?" he asked me.

I explained that sometimes I feel that he doesn't trust me (like then) and sometimes he's completely happy with me. Since I've gotten this feeling more recently, I feel like its him deciding on whether he wants me in his life or not.
He grabbed my hand, looked at me seriously, and said, "I know exactly what I want."


If you were reading a script for a romantic comedy rather than my blog you would have read this:

At end of NG's line, QSW tackles him into his bed taking off both person's clothes, NG protests at first but then realizes quickly that QSW is not taking "no" for an answer.

Since this isn't a romantic comedy and just my blog, I'll say the following:

I got goosebumps up and down my arm, and at the same time, realized rather foolishly that he was only trying to figure out if I wanted to be in this relationship or not.
Silly women.