I weep for my children.

There are some really dumb people in this world.

For instance, I have to take ticket orders and process ticket orders during the summer at one of my jobs. Here are some of the idiots I've dealt with:

Upon opening an envelope and finding a ticket order inside, I quickly scanned the order to make sure the person had included everything they needed.
When I got to the part where it says, "Visa Mastercard or Discover" I saw that they had circled "Discover," that seemed ok, I looked at the number and all the digits were there, when I got to the "Name on the card" the person had written: DISCOVER.

I recieved a call from a secretary trying to place an order and a donation for her boss.
This is not uncommon.
The secretary says to me, "My boss would like to donate 2,500 dollars and not to be named anywhere." I said ok, but then she continued with, "He would also like two season tickets."
"Two season tickets?" I asked baffled, thinking we had 28 shows in our season and most people did not want to see every single show.
"Yes, " she said with the upmost confidence.
"Do you want two tickets to every show?" I asked trying to figure out if that's what she meant.
"No, just the season show."
"We have 28 shows..."
"That many?"
"Yes, do you have the order form in front of you?"
"Yep! Right here!"
(That truely baffled me because the order form has no area for "season tickets" and lists out our 28 shows)
"Ok, you see all the shows off to right?"
"Yes.."
"We offer all of those this season."
"Oh."
"Do you know what you want of those?"
"Just put down two of each."
(Thinking, WOW, thats a lot of money to get two of each.)
"Ok, are you paying with credit card?"
"Yes, 2500 dollars."
"That's what you are donating?"
"Yes."
"And do you want to pay for the tickets the same way?"
"We have to pay for the tickets?"
"Um... yes."
"Oh."
(pause)
"Do you want to talk to your boss first before you place this order?"
"Yea, that's probably a good idea."
"Ok, thanks for calling, Bye now."

I recieved a call that asked for Amanda. I told the woman that Amanda was busy. She then asked for Kendall. I transfered her to Kendall but Kendall wasn't in her office. Since Kendall and Amanda both deal with the "friends" aka "donors" I knew it had something to do with that. She called back a few minutes later.
"Kendall wasn't there," she told me accusingly.
"Oh I'm sorry," not letting her accusing voice get to me and keeping my voice light and airy.
"Is she in the office?" she asked even angrier.
"Her dot hasn't been moved to away, so I assume she's still here." I said, still in my sing-song voice.
"Where at then!?" she said, even more angrier if that is possible.
"I don't know, it doesn't say," now finding the anger amusing because she clearly is trying to sound angry enough to get me to get up and look for Kendall.
She doesn't know that I've worked here for 4 years and this woman's caller ID clearly tells me that she's not one of Kendall's corporate people where I would get up and look for her.
"Well, see if you can go find her," she told me.
I tried not laughing out loud. The balls on this woman were tremendous.
"Well, I can put you on hold and she if she walks by here, but I have too much to do to go hunting for her," I said.
This was sort of a lie and sort of a truth.
I did have a lot to do and I had to get it done today, but our office holds 12 people, it would have taken me the total of 5 minutes to look for her. If this lady had been one of Kendall's "people" she would have known this.
"Well all I'm trying to do is to find out if I've donated this year or not!" she said, completely exasperated.
"Oh, why didn't you say so!" I said cheerfully.
(I put her on hold for 57 seconds)
"You are due to donate in June, because the last time you donated was June 14th of last year."
"Thank you," she said, and immediately hung up.

I feel like joining Project Mayhem next door some days.

Gripe.

1. Informal To complain naggingly or petulantly; grumble.
2. To have sharp pains in the bowels.

I don't think a lot of people realize that when they say "gripe" its an "informal" term they use. The formal definition of the word is sharp pains in the bowels.

aka.

gas.


This weekend I have had my fill of gas.
From Mr. Lust.
From his little brother.
From his father.
From a can that fed the grill.
From the oven as it burned.
From everything.

and also...

Project Mayhem next door is really getting crazy.
They have turned a truck into a slide that says "No god, No Masters"
and they have created a wicker man to guard their lawn.

Poor baby alligator, died from water toxins.
So let me first say:
If you don't smoke you are highly intelligent.
If you did, and you don't now, you are awesome and are now intelligent.
If you do, you are retarded and should become intelligent by quitting.

That being said, I hate people who are so against smoking that they are blind by anything else. Too much of a bad or good thing is always bad.
EXTREME measures are wrong.

Look how many people have died for religion? Isn't religion suppose to be a good idea? Make you do right instead of wrong?

I was told recently that there was gun powder in cigarette paper. I thought it was an urban myth, so I looked it up. Sure enough, there are rings around the cigarette paper that are actually watermarks to keep the cigarette burning evenly.
Below that answer to my question was a comment from a nasty person who basically had a breakdown because someone said a dirty word, "cigarette" and decided to open up her bible on all cigarette "facts" and write them in the comment section for anyone to read.
I had to laugh when I read to what was toxic in cigarettes. While I agree that cigarettes are bad and they are toxic, there was no need to go this far:

ARSENIC: used in rat poison
ACEIIC ACID: hair dye and developer
ACETONE: main ingredient in paint fingernail polish remover
AMMONIA: a typical household cleaner
BENZENE: rubber cement
CADMIUM: found in batteries and artists' oil paint
CARBON MONOXIDE: poison
FORMALDEHYDE: used to embalm dead bodies
HYDRAZINE: used in jet and rocket fuels
HYDROGEN CYANIDE: poison in gas chambers
NAPHALENES: Used in explosives, mothballs, and paint pigments
NICKEL: used in the process of electroplating
PHENOL: used in disinfectants and plastics
STYRENE: found in insulation material
TULUENE: embalmers glue
VINYL CHLORIDE: ingredient found in garbage bags

Ok, so she lists the toxins and where they are found in our lives. Fine. Probably all trace amounts but that fact was left out because it doesn't lend itself to good story telling. This person reminds me of news anchors when they say, "Three dangerous, Latino thugs robbed a story on Wednesday night..." meanwhile old ladies at home are pulling out their Glocks at any sign of anything Latino.
Its all a matter of how you put the spin on it.
Here is another list:

Anti-hypertensives - drugs to treat high blood pressure
antibiotics - drugs to treat infection
caffeine - Found in coffee, soda, etc.
nicotine - Found in cigarettes
Chlorine - chemical
PVC (polyvinyl chloride)- plastic softener
arsenic - poison
Tri-halomethanes - refrigerants

Guess where these are found?
WATER!!!!
Most of them are found in bottled water... betcha didn't know that! Yet you still sit there and drink arsenic every day.
Shame on you!

And here is a quote I found about Phoenix's drinking water:
"The most consistent finding has been an increase in bladder cancer, Sharp said, "and increased incidence of miscarriage after the women were exposed for one trimester of pregnancy."

After drinking the tap water.... (does this remind you of Erin Brockivich?)

Where is the support group on water? I know where the one is if I want to quit smoking, what happens if I want to quit water?

I guess the point of this post is, sometimes... just chill out, most people who smoke know its bad for them, most don't care. Some day, they'll wake up and realize it, or someday they'll die of cancer. Why not instead worry about something else ... like... what you are drinking?

Tonight (part two, but part one you didn't see)

Smoking, drinking, and playing video games where the main character kills people then eats their hearts, is probably the most relaxing thing you can do.

That is, if you are me and Mr. Lust.

Its so perfect for us to relax with.

Ugh to me for using a dizzyingly display of past and present verbs in the same sentence.

Wow, aren't you the spoiled rotten brat...

So Mr. Lust's parents went on vacation. A ten day cruise.
That means Mr. Lust's little brother and little sister came to stay with him in his house, with me.
When I say "little" I mean a 20 year old girl and a 15 year old boy.
Both of them are spoiled rotten.
Mr. Lust apparently didn't get the "spoiled rotten brat" part because when he was little his parents were complete workaholics and barely had any time for him. Because of this Mr. Lust had some behavioral problems like throwing assholes through windows and spray painting cars to get attention.
He's past those days and hasn't had a problem since he was 22. At 22 he started working for his mother and father and was suddenly given a lot of respect, so he calmed down.

Its amazing how kids behave when you just listen to them.

In his parent's head, I'm somehow responsible for Mr. Lust calming down. Even though I didn't start dating him until he was 25.
Whatever.

When Lil' Sis and Lil' Bro came along the parents saw the error in their ways with Mr. Lust and created two monsters who got whatever they wanted.

Examples:

Lil' Bro was thirsty and we were in the car. I came back from inside the gas station with two Vitamin waters, one for now and one for when I was at work. He assumed I got one for him, even though I set them both at my feet. Mr. Lust called me over to the gas pump to ask me something and while I was there, Lil' Bro picked up one and started drinking it. Didn't ask. Didn't say thank you. Didn't acknowledge me.

Lil' Sis was still at the house when I was getting ready for work this morning. I came down to collect some things and when I got back upstairs I realized that she was in my and Mr. Lust's room. I was shocked for a second, thinking I wouldn't want to go into my brothers/girlfriend's room. Not only did she want to go into the room, she was getting read to take a shower in our master bath. Apparently she didn't like the bathroom downstairs, next to her room, and decided the shampoo/conditioner/soap/bathroom was much better upstairs. In other words, she liked my shampoo/conditioner/soap and the upstairs bathroom was bigger.
Didn't ask. Didn't say thanks. Didn't really acknowledge me.

I told Mr. Lust that I'd like to make the four of us dinner. Breakfast for dinner. Pancakes, Bacon/Sausage, and eggs. Lil' Bro heard that and said "That's gay, breakfast for dinner." Lil' Sis heard that and said, "Oh, I don't want pancakes I'm watching my figure." Later she didn't hesitate to polish off all the Häagen-Dazs ice cream in the freezer and after she was done with it, complained that she really didn't like it after all.


I look at Mr. Lust and his older sister. I like them so much. Neither one of them is disrespectful. Neither one has issues sharing. They both ask for things. They both have manners. They are such opposites of these little piss ants.

In Tyler we trust.

Saturday: 3pm to 5am Bartending
Sunday: 10am to 10pm Gardening.
Monday: 9am to 5pm One job, 6pm to 4am Other job.
Tuesday: 9am to 5pm, job.
It's currently 3:30pm on Tuesday.
I've started noticing a lot of random bruises on my legs and arms.
I don't remember getting them.
I have wads of cash in my purse that I don't remember getting.
I checked my bank account yesterday and its 300 dollars more than what I thought it was
I suddenly panicked earlier today that I didn't even wish Mr. Lust "Happy Birthday. " I called him and he informed me that yesterday I had sent 4 text messages and called him to tell him "Happy Birthday."
I picked up a box an hour ago assuming that it was heavy, lifted hard and managed to make myself fall backwards throwing the contents of the box everywhere.
My co-worker said it was better than watching the Three Stooges.
And two minutes ago as I was staring at lines of CSS/DIV code there was a sudden flash and I swear Tyler Durden blinked in my eye sight for a half of second.
I stared at my computer screen.
I stared so hard at it that my boss (alarmed) said, "QSW! Are you ok? You are very pale."

Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but I think I might be losing it.

Indiana weather

Indiana weather is some of the craziness I've seen.
We normally don't have earthquakes, tornados, or gale force winds... wait.. yes we do
Ok, We normally don't have tsunamis or hurricanes.

That's better.


Thats not the crazy part. The crazy part is the time between April and June and September and November. Those periods, known as Spring and Fall are the crazy times in Indiana.
I remember in high school waking up and turning on the car in the morning so it would defrost. In the afternoon when I got out, I had the AC on full blast.

Today I got up, and it was warm and sunny. By noon it was raining hard. When I got off at 2pm, it was cool and damp.
I wonder what it will be when I got back to work at 5pm.
I'll probably need a down-filled jacket.

I can't wait for June.