I work at a bar. I live with someone. I have friends. I love reading. That sums me up.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Let's play a game...
... I'll name four people that I would sleep with, as long as there were no strings attached, (except maybe a fantasy disappearing), then you name your four. Why four? Three is standard, and five is too much.
Numero Uno: George Clooney.
You might find this one odd, if you do, you obviously haven't seen the next three. I like older movies, and George Clooney reminds me of Cary Grant except straight. I couldn't put Cary Grant down because he's dead and I'm not into necrofilia.
Numero Dos: Paolo Nutini
Some of you right now are concerned for my sanity, having stated Georgy as number one and Paolo as number two, I understand. What can I say? I like variety and shoes, and he's different from George and sings about new shoes.
Number Three: Jim Sturgess
I would actually cut off my left foot to sleep with this man. Ooo... bite that finger... you know you want some QSW. This man is just HOTT in my book, that's right he has two Ts in his HOTT. He's also somewhat of a combo between Paolo and George... look at those expressive eyes and skinny tie. I love skinny ties. I have many things to do with skinny ties.... ...I digress.
Number Four: Robert Downey Jr. On a recent drunk Friday night my friend Amanda and I sipped some Stoli and discussed what made Robbie so incredibly lustful in our books. What we came up with? Obtainability. I just made up a word to describe Robbie, that's how awesome he is. He looks like a guy that you could walk up to in a bar and sit down and have a successful night of receiving a phone number, or whatever you were trying to obtain, from I really hot man. Girls like it when they have the upper hand. Robbie looks like the kind of guy that would let you make all the moves and he'd fall into your hands. Yea... thats it. I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
Now your turn, if you comment, you have to name four guys or girls (or both?) that you'd put in your list.
Sometimes, even though I love him, I want to pull his hair out. Sometimes, even though I like his family, I want them to disappear. Sometimes, I think really bad things, and then I am humbled when simple acts of kindness are given. Above all, I love the puppy.
Girl: Who are you dating now? Guy: I don't know if you'd call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she's gone. Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!
WiscoBlonde and LeggyBlonde might be the only two to understand this post to it's fullest. The fact that they are both blonde has nothing to do with it. If you are female and you are a bartender, somehow, you become a goddess in the eyes of the drunk men you serve. You could have the worst personality, worst hair, you could spit in the trash can, but the minute you flip out two shot glasses and start pouring some concoction into it, they want to hump you from sundown to sunrise. I know alcohol has a little bit to do with it, but as a server I don't have this much attention and as just a drunk guest I have little to no attention. So it really has something to do with being the one who pours the alcohol.
I have a little bit of an ego problem, that I never had or dreamed of before.
There was a petition signed by customers at the pub I work at. The petition was for me to break up with Mr. Lust. When I asked why I was suppose to break up with Mr. Lust, they said "because we want a chance with you." I'm not that great. I keep telling myself this. One guy in particular who looks like a knock off of Joaquin Phoenix, would not give it up yesterday. He decided to tell random people about how excited he would be if I would break up with Mr. Lust so that we could get married. I kept trying to play it off, especially when the boss-man asked, "Why do you want to marry her?" and I said, "because he wants to see my tits really bad." Mr. Knock-off JP replied with, "No, it runs much deeper than that." Which would have been somewhat sweet if I didn't know that he had had 4 drinks before that.
Also, I made a huge mistake. One I will regret for a long time. I went from High school, where people hated me and I hated them, to college where I wasn't hated but I wasn't wild because I had such a low self-esteem from being hated before, to now, where I have forgotten high school, and realized only that I didn't have a very crazy time in college. So, I'm making up for it now. Last Sunday, I went down a water slide top-less in Hello Kitty's back yard. I was WASTED, I actually don't remember doing it, I just remember another girl convincing me to do it. We went inside and then back out, and then thats apparently when we went down topless. I don't doubt that I did it, even if I blacked out. St. Pat came in last night and told me that all the men at the party gave him full details of what my breasts are like. Disturbing. So so so disturbing. Needless to say I think I should stop drinking so much. And to top off all of that... Amanda's boyfriend (on again, off again) tried to go home with me. Granted they are confused anyways, but come on, what girl would go home with her best friend's boyfriend? I don't care if it is on again and off again. Especially when he knew me to be seeing Mr. Lust. Blech.
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?
I'm getting a new desk in my office.
I had to clean out the old desk and I found some things that I didn't know where in there. One, a plate from my old roommate's collection, two, the DaVinci Code book, and three pictures of me with Matt. Every picture was either of my friend at the time or of Matt and myself.
It was obvious to me in every picture how happy I was.
I muttered, "Sad, pathetic fool," to myself right as my boss walked into my office. My boss paused for a moment and said, "You know I think everyone goes through that."
We didn't say anymore, but that was sufficient, I'll miss her when she leaves to move to California. *******************
Mr. Lust and I got a puppy. He's a happy healthy German shepherd/rottweiler puppy who eats more than I could imagine and poops even more than that.
Here he is listening to LB talking to him so she can take a picture.
I officially move in with Mr. Lust in August. I decided ID needed a year's rent from me, so I will pay him for a year, it also gives me two months to move instead of a week.
I need to take pictures of our garden again. The tomatoes are out of control and it looks like "Ooze" took a hold of all the veggies and made them huge.
Other news, I opened my purse today to get out cash for Starbucks when I found a screwdriver in my purse. I didn't put it there, so I pulled it out of my purse out of shock. The Starbucks lady and I had moment of looking at each other with a screwdriver in my hand before I shrugged and placed it back in my purse. "I guess I need two cups of coffee in the morning so I don't do that again," I said. The lady smiled in a way that said, "Right, I'll smile because you are trying to make a joke but I still think your crazy."
I wonder where that screw driver came from actually.
Who caught the TMNT reference or knows what TMNT means?
When I was younger (try age 15) I use to use conditioner on my skin. I don't know if anyone else does this, but I would use soap and then use conditioner right afterwards. In my head I thought, "Well, if its good for my hair and I have hair on my arm, it will be good for my arm." I stopped at some point, I don't remember when, but I do remember how it started. Neil Plantation. No, not his real first last name, but his real first name. Neil was a cross between Colin Firth and Colin Farrell. Take Firth's squareness-hottness: And Farrell's intensity: And you have Neil.... although, I was a 15 year old, things could be exaggerated in my mind.
One day in Biology, Neil, while the teacher was talking, grabbed my arm and said, "Wow, QSW, you have really amazing skin," and then went back to pretend to listen to the teacher. That moment changed the way I thought about my skin and it made me go to extreme measures to keep it "amazing" for Neil. That was the day I started my conditioner treatment.
Neil and I never dated. Although, most of my high school hated me, he always made it a point to talk to me. He even did what a few would call, "flirting," which was basically complimenting my shirt saying my boobs looked nice in it (I didn't get boobs until I was 18 which is when I got my first boyfriend as well, funny how those things happen). Still, to this day, I remember him and how gorgeous he was, but sadly the conditioner treatment faded a long time ago.
What a random thing to think about while in a hotel shower that only had soap that dried out my skin... ...forcing me to use conditioner on it.
Most of the time when I get home late from work, I see weird info-mercials before I finally commit to sleep. The things I see are usually credit card debt relievers or something to do with Billy Mays.
Tonight was different.
I was watching tonight (in between Thomas Crown Affair which I love) an info-mercial that featured a company that would help out with dead-beat parents paying for child support.
The end line said, "If you are serious about receiving your child-support please call now."
What I'm curious about, how serious?
Does this company break legs? Torture things? Mr. Lust explained to me in the shower how to torture someone with a bucket, rat, and blow torch.
You don't want to know.
Do they do something like that to get child support? How serious do you have to be to get that treatment for your ex-significant other?
A company like that could make a killing, maybe even get Billy Mays to sign on for that ride.
Here he is listening to LB talking to him so she can take a picture.
