All you have to do is show some tits...

Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don't know if you'd call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she's gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!

WiscoBlonde and LeggyBlonde might be the only two to understand this post to it's fullest. The fact that they are both blonde has nothing to do with it.
If you are female and you are a bartender, somehow, you become a goddess in the eyes of the drunk men you serve. You could have the worst personality, worst hair, you could spit in the trash can, but the minute you flip out two shot glasses and start pouring some concoction into it, they want to hump you from sundown to sunrise. I know alcohol has a little bit to do with it, but as a server I don't have this much attention and as just a drunk guest I have little to no attention. So it really has something to do with being the one who pours the alcohol.

I have a little bit of an ego problem, that I never had or dreamed of before.

There was a petition signed by customers at the pub I work at. The petition was for me to break up with Mr. Lust. When I asked why I was suppose to break up with Mr. Lust, they said "because we want a chance with you."
I'm not that great.
I keep telling myself this.
One guy in particular who looks like a knock off of Joaquin Phoenix, would not give it up yesterday. He decided to tell random people about how excited he would be if I would break up with Mr. Lust so that we could get married.
I kept trying to play it off, especially when the boss-man asked, "Why do you want to marry her?" and I said, "because he wants to see my tits really bad."
Mr. Knock-off JP replied with, "No, it runs much deeper than that." Which would have been somewhat sweet if I didn't know that he had had 4 drinks before that.

Also, I made a huge mistake. One I will regret for a long time.
I went from High school, where people hated me and I hated them, to college where I wasn't hated but I wasn't wild because I had such a low self-esteem from being hated before, to now, where I have forgotten high school, and realized only that I didn't have a very crazy time in college.
So, I'm making up for it now.
Last Sunday, I went down a water slide top-less in Hello Kitty's back yard. I was WASTED, I actually don't remember doing it, I just remember another girl convincing me to do it. We went inside and then back out, and then thats apparently when we went down topless.
I don't doubt that I did it, even if I blacked out.
St. Pat came in last night and told me that all the men at the party gave him full details of what my breasts are like.
Disturbing.
So so so disturbing.
Needless to say I think I should stop drinking so much.
And to top off all of that...
Amanda's boyfriend (on again, off again) tried to go home with me. Granted they are confused anyways, but come on, what girl would go home with her best friend's boyfriend?
I don't care if it is on again and off again.
Especially when he knew me to be seeing Mr. Lust.
Blech.


My My... how Quietly Sipping Wine has changed.