PENIS!!*
*like the title? Good. It has nothing to do with this post.
Mr. Lust's sister is in town. I had a name for her, but I forgot it. We will just call her Birdie, because I lack creativity at the moment.
So Birdie arrived yesterday, and is staying until Friday.
Monday morning I got up with Mr. Lust and started doing laundry because I realized that there was no towels for the downstairs bathroom. I heard Mr. Lust leave without saying goodbye and I felt hurt. That hurt feeling lasted for 15 minutes when he reappeared downstairs with Starbucks coffee to give to me because I was doing towels for his sister.
That's more like it.
He left again, and I put the towels in the dryer and took a shower. When I returned, the towels were done, so I folded them up, and took them to the downstairs bathroom that Birdie was using.
I walked into it and realized that Mr. Lust and I had both forgotten that the shower had no curtain, no rod, no hangers.
Not the way I'd want to take a shower.
I checked my watch and I was running early, so I took off to Wal-Mart.
20 minutes later I was back with everything the bathroom needed, plus a mirror for Birdie's upstairs bedroom because the bathroom she is using is small and cramped.
I finished up and went to work.
Later that evening, Birdie arrived, hugged me, and thanked me for getting a mirror and shower curtain. She had been expecting to go to Wal-Mart and get the shower curtain, because she knew her little brother had forgotten it.
"Here is a present to the lady of the house!" she said, as she pulled out a very nice bottle of wine.
"Oh thank you! But, I'm not the lady of the house, you are!" I said.
She looked puzzled.
"Well, you are Mr. Lust's sister, technically you are closest to him and therefore the lady of the house."
(why do I open my mouth sometimes?)
"Oh, you are silly QSW, I wouldn't be surprised if you and I were sisters one day."
I laughed.
I laughed like Jemaine Clement, from Flight of the Conchords, did in the song "Jenny."
Aka, uncomfortable-like.
Suddenly it was as if a panic attack hit me and I had the sudden urge to tear the shower curtain to threads and get all my stuff out.
As if reading my thoughts, his sister says, "I'm surprised you don't have any stuff here yet."
"Well, I don't live here," it came out a little harsher than I expected, and his sister dropped the subject, thankfully.
The feeling remained the rest of the evening, and I ended up sleeping at 10:30pm. I woke up at 10am when my alarm went off. I picked up every article of clothing I had there, packed it all up, and I left for work.
It was only after sitting at work for 30 minutes did the panicky feeling die down and I felt calmer again about my relationship.
Why do I have to be so fucked up?
Matt - I begged for attention, I was hurt when he freaked out if I stayed two nights in a row at this apartment, I was shocked when he made me take my DVDs home immediately stating that he didn't want "anything but his own stuff" in his apartment.
NG - Three months I was semi-happy, at least I wasn't being hurt, just ignored a little too much. Then the 4th month hit, he took home some random broad from the bars and didn't bother to tell me, or break up with me, but the "little too much ignoring" turned into flat out ignoring.
Then there was Mr. Lust, who does none of the above, he's kind and sweet and generous,... and I freak out.
Mr. Lust's sister is in town. I had a name for her, but I forgot it. We will just call her Birdie, because I lack creativity at the moment.
So Birdie arrived yesterday, and is staying until Friday.
Monday morning I got up with Mr. Lust and started doing laundry because I realized that there was no towels for the downstairs bathroom. I heard Mr. Lust leave without saying goodbye and I felt hurt. That hurt feeling lasted for 15 minutes when he reappeared downstairs with Starbucks coffee to give to me because I was doing towels for his sister.
That's more like it.
He left again, and I put the towels in the dryer and took a shower. When I returned, the towels were done, so I folded them up, and took them to the downstairs bathroom that Birdie was using.
I walked into it and realized that Mr. Lust and I had both forgotten that the shower had no curtain, no rod, no hangers.
Not the way I'd want to take a shower.
I checked my watch and I was running early, so I took off to Wal-Mart.
20 minutes later I was back with everything the bathroom needed, plus a mirror for Birdie's upstairs bedroom because the bathroom she is using is small and cramped.
I finished up and went to work.
Later that evening, Birdie arrived, hugged me, and thanked me for getting a mirror and shower curtain. She had been expecting to go to Wal-Mart and get the shower curtain, because she knew her little brother had forgotten it.
"Here is a present to the lady of the house!" she said, as she pulled out a very nice bottle of wine.
"Oh thank you! But, I'm not the lady of the house, you are!" I said.
She looked puzzled.
"Well, you are Mr. Lust's sister, technically you are closest to him and therefore the lady of the house."
(why do I open my mouth sometimes?)
"Oh, you are silly QSW, I wouldn't be surprised if you and I were sisters one day."
I laughed.
I laughed like Jemaine Clement, from Flight of the Conchords, did in the song "Jenny."
Aka, uncomfortable-like.
Suddenly it was as if a panic attack hit me and I had the sudden urge to tear the shower curtain to threads and get all my stuff out.
As if reading my thoughts, his sister says, "I'm surprised you don't have any stuff here yet."
"Well, I don't live here," it came out a little harsher than I expected, and his sister dropped the subject, thankfully.
The feeling remained the rest of the evening, and I ended up sleeping at 10:30pm. I woke up at 10am when my alarm went off. I picked up every article of clothing I had there, packed it all up, and I left for work.
It was only after sitting at work for 30 minutes did the panicky feeling die down and I felt calmer again about my relationship.
Why do I have to be so fucked up?
Matt - I begged for attention, I was hurt when he freaked out if I stayed two nights in a row at this apartment, I was shocked when he made me take my DVDs home immediately stating that he didn't want "anything but his own stuff" in his apartment.
NG - Three months I was semi-happy, at least I wasn't being hurt, just ignored a little too much. Then the 4th month hit, he took home some random broad from the bars and didn't bother to tell me, or break up with me, but the "little too much ignoring" turned into flat out ignoring.
Then there was Mr. Lust, who does none of the above, he's kind and sweet and generous,... and I freak out.
posted by Sipwine at 9:25 AM
5 Comments:
You've got a good thing going! Just breathe!
My first thoughts exactly wisco =)! Breathe girl!! Just Breathe and enjoy what you have, for there are a lot that go without!
oh btw.. Think a little before re-acting {{{wink}}}
Everyone has those moments, the good thing is you gave yourself some time to think it through before you did something drastic. Look at the positive side, it wasn't that long ago that the whole family thought you were just a gold digger. The fact that his sister is even willing to accept that as a posibility is a great thing. Even if your relationship isn't headed there at least they like you for who you are. That's a good thing. Just relax a touch, the conversation was a good thing, if for nothing else than it shows that his sister doesn't think you are a psycho, and that's always positive.
First, a bit too much ignoring is always a bad thing...
Second, when you come out of 2 not so optimal relationships, freaking out is not uncommon. If I could make a suggestion, when faced with a freak out moment... blunt honest answers are hardly ever a good choice... I find that the generic "Only time will tell I guess" works wonders".
I'm breathing again. Thank you for all that read through that post and commented. I'm better now. ;)
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