Things you learn while working at a bar:
This is my first serving experience.
The rest of the staff at the pub have a lot of notches in their belts when it comes to talking, dealing, serving the people of Lafayette.
So where they react with a shoulder shrug and a "whatever," I react with a wide eyed expression and a "Oh NO he didn't!"
Things you shouldn't do in a bar:
1. Make out like no one is watching.
2. Fight with your significant other with yelling and pointing
3. Be pregnant
4. Spit on the floor and then look at your server like "What? You gonna say something?"
Reminder: You are a single, white female and you are not a bad ass.
5. Hit on your server.
Going along with number 5 is the next set of "do nots"
Pick up lines that aren't going to work with your server:
1. "Aren't you just a sexy little thing."
2. "I get what I want" (then sticks tongue out and bites it playfully)
3. (after buying a shot for your server) "Now, why don't you give me a 'shot?'"
4. "Your ass looks good in those jeans."
5. "Your boyfriend is in Germany? Well, If I were him I wouldn't have let you out of my sight."
As sands through the hour glass... so are the days of our lives.
Your server will bring you food or beverage. She/he will not bring you their number, their clothes, naked pictures of themselves, their first born, etc. just so that you'll sit there longer and give them a buck more in tips.
Sometimes it's worth it to me to pay you a buck to leave me alone.
Now I'm pretending to be Harvey Two-face. During my day job, I sit, and code, and read, and sip lattes. Then I go home, eat, and work out. Then I go to my next job which is seeming to give me a "Rock Star" appearance to the outside people. I walk around, I'm hit on, and I take shots with my co-workers. If I get off work early enough I go over to my boyfriend's house and I have sex until I pass out. If it's late enough, I takes another shot and go home. My days off are a mixture of trips to Chicago, painting, cleaning, and taking pictures on long walks.
Ya'll don't know what its like, being male, middle class, and white.
The rest of the staff at the pub have a lot of notches in their belts when it comes to talking, dealing, serving the people of Lafayette.
So where they react with a shoulder shrug and a "whatever," I react with a wide eyed expression and a "Oh NO he didn't!"
Things you shouldn't do in a bar:
1. Make out like no one is watching.
2. Fight with your significant other with yelling and pointing
3. Be pregnant
4. Spit on the floor and then look at your server like "What? You gonna say something?"
Reminder: You are a single, white female and you are not a bad ass.
5. Hit on your server.
Going along with number 5 is the next set of "do nots"
Pick up lines that aren't going to work with your server:
1. "Aren't you just a sexy little thing."
2. "I get what I want" (then sticks tongue out and bites it playfully)
3. (after buying a shot for your server) "Now, why don't you give me a 'shot?'"
4. "Your ass looks good in those jeans."
5. "Your boyfriend is in Germany? Well, If I were him I wouldn't have let you out of my sight."
As sands through the hour glass... so are the days of our lives.
Your server will bring you food or beverage. She/he will not bring you their number, their clothes, naked pictures of themselves, their first born, etc. just so that you'll sit there longer and give them a buck more in tips.
Sometimes it's worth it to me to pay you a buck to leave me alone.
Now I'm pretending to be Harvey Two-face. During my day job, I sit, and code, and read, and sip lattes. Then I go home, eat, and work out. Then I go to my next job which is seeming to give me a "Rock Star" appearance to the outside people. I walk around, I'm hit on, and I take shots with my co-workers. If I get off work early enough I go over to my boyfriend's house and I have sex until I pass out. If it's late enough, I takes another shot and go home. My days off are a mixture of trips to Chicago, painting, cleaning, and taking pictures on long walks.
Ya'll don't know what its like, being male, middle class, and white.
posted by Sipwine at 9:50 AM
10 Comments:
Your writing style changed. What happened?
AND like where have ya been?? Things OK?
it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say..
Fuck.
Lenfer: Other than my incredibly bad english, how has it changed?
Jstzznu: Things are good, just trying to settle into this new part of my life. :) I think I'm starting to get the hang of it.
Scotty: I just drove to the store.. for some Preparation H.
Youll be fine, some producer with computers fixes all my shitty tracks.
Kudos to you! I would not last a day in that job as I can not STAND to get hit on. Seriously. Even the other day, 830 AM in the morning, on a Sunday, and I'm walking to school. A guy on a phone, stops talking to flash me a smile and ask, "hey hows it going?"
I don't smile back. I give him the stinkeye. And this guy is just being nice. In a bar like setting with those pick-up lines, I would hate to see what I would do. I'm sure it would involve the words Fuck and Off.
QSW, you absolutely MUST go start reading waiterrant ASAP.
lol! It's shorter, dryer, with less detail.
Scotty: Sha-mon.
WL: Sometimes, I get close to the F and the U. Sometimes, if I know the person is from the area, I casually mention who my boyfriend is. Nice having a boyfriend who's name is so recognizable. I'm pretty sure if Lafayette had a mafia, my boyfriend's family would run it. Crazy Italians.
James: Awesome site! I'm adding it to my blogroll so I don't forget it!
Lenfer: Maybe that's the server talking. No time to think, "whatcha want?", I'll tell a quick joke to amuse you and make my tip go up, "Alright enough of that, seriously, what's your order?"
;)
And here's a small yet essential addition to your list:
Never. Whistle. To. Get. A. Server's. Attention. It is simply bad manners. (Also, it is an especially good idea if you don't want to end up with spit in your soup.) (Just kidding about the spit--kinda)
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