The weekend

FN and I made up this weekend.
We spent Saturday from 12 to 6:30 together shopping, eating, and watching the Golden Compass, because both of us had read the book and wanted to see it.
At 6:15 when we got out of the theater, Mr. Lust had left me a message saying that he had gotten tickets for the 6:45 showing of The Golden Compass because he knew I wanted to see it so badly.

That's the thing with nice guys, you can never count on them to fail you.

Since I didn't have the heart to tell him I had just seen it, I sat in that theater and watched it all over again.
Later we came back to my apartment, watched a Christmas movie and fell asleep.
The next day when we woke up, Mr. Lust asked if I'd like to come with him to help his family decorate the Christmas tree.
I agreed, I'm not sure why, but I did.
I got there and his father and brother were stringing lights, his mother was cleaning the fish tank, and his grandmother wasn't downstairs yet.
Mr. Lust started helping his mother, and I just stood there, because I didn't know his brother and father very well, and there wasn't enough room for me at the fish tank.
Around that time, his grandmother yelled downstairs for help (she's 91 and can barely stand up), and his father and brother disappeared to help.
I started stringing lights where they left off, because I figured I'd be useful while they were gone.
They came back with his grandmother and set her up putting hooks on ornaments. His father was impressed with my light decorating and kept telling me that I did a fine job with the lights.
Eager to please, I continued to string.

About 5 minutes later, I realized that I was alone with Mr. Lust's mom and his grandmother.
15 minutes after that I realized that that fact wasn't going to change.
I excused myself to go to the restroom and saw that Mr. Lust's father and brother were watching football, and Mr. Lust himself had disappeared.
Not knowing what to do, I just finished the lights.
Mr. Lust returned, and I realized that he was in fact still helping his mom, because he was carrying a 5 gallon bucket full of salt water.
When Mr. Lust left again to get another bucket, I boldly said, "So, do they flatter a lot so they get away with not doing any work?"
Both his mother and grandmother nodded their heads and said something like, "Yea, you learn to get use to it."

The hell I will.

Later when Mr. Lust and I were driving back to my apartment, he asked what was wrong.
Not thinking before I spoke I said, "I'm scared you'll be like your father one day and I'll get stuck with you because I'll be dumb enough to be knocked up by you."

Wrong thing to say, obviously, I should learn tact.

This started a somewhat mini argument that lasted until Mr. Lust swore to me that his father's tactics bothered him as much as they bothered me, and I promised never to insult his family without thinking through my statements beforehand.

That night I had a dream that I was pregnant, but I just kept bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and no one could stop the blood. Then I suddenly had a kid that was 2 years old, but I was still bleeding, and I couldn't pick up the kid because I was so weak from bleeding constantly. Mr. Lust refused to help me carry my child and somehow I found a way because I loved the child.

I woke up as if I was Lady Macbeth raking my fingernails into my legs trying to get rid of the blood. I only calmed down when I realized that there was no way I could be pregnant and I wasn't covered in blood.

I don't need a therapist to tell me what that dream meant.