Things I should not say while drunk...
(pointing to RHM boobs) "I call them Pleasure Town, and if you stick your face in them its like, 'Welcome to Pleasure Town!'"
(talking to Rick, another gay friend)"Oh you are my new gay boyfriend!"
Rick: "What happened to FN?"
Me: "He decided he wasn't my friend anymore, last time I was there he actually hid in a closet to avoid me, I mean, he spent all this time trying to get out of the closet, I don't know why he'd go back in one!"
(talking to my former "husband" in my fraternity, who got re-married to Medusa after I left the fraternity)
Him: "My daughter just came up to me very upset that I was formerly married to you."
Me: (somewhat yelling so that 20 - 30 people could hear) "Ah Shit, RHM where are you, Bitchface Medusa is upset I'm here, I better go!"
(while in a group of people)Someone: That's an interesting shirt you have. (pointing to the slutty girls shirt)
Slutty girl: "Thank you I think" and looks down at her shirt.
Me: (Noticing that the shirt was fine other than the big tear drop shape exposing her cleavage) "It's an air hole so you don't sufficate while motor boating her."
(talking to Rick, another gay friend)"Oh you are my new gay boyfriend!"
Rick: "What happened to FN?"
Me: "He decided he wasn't my friend anymore, last time I was there he actually hid in a closet to avoid me, I mean, he spent all this time trying to get out of the closet, I don't know why he'd go back in one!"
(talking to my former "husband" in my fraternity, who got re-married to Medusa after I left the fraternity)
Him: "My daughter just came up to me very upset that I was formerly married to you."
Me: (somewhat yelling so that 20 - 30 people could hear) "Ah Shit, RHM where are you, Bitchface Medusa is upset I'm here, I better go!"
(while in a group of people)Someone: That's an interesting shirt you have. (pointing to the slutty girls shirt)
Slutty girl: "Thank you I think" and looks down at her shirt.
Me: (Noticing that the shirt was fine other than the big tear drop shape exposing her cleavage) "It's an air hole so you don't sufficate while motor boating her."
posted by Sipwine at 7:55 AM
6 Comments:
Whoa... that's all I have to say. I'm laughing my ass off.
aaaahhhh yea right =)
Motor boatin'... love it.
Did you do this while in Afghanistan?
Sipwine you are not alone in the syndrome we have. There are help groups for "foot in mouth while drunkitis" and it has helped me just a little, hehehe! LOL
Oh my god! Me and you have got to drink together someday... we'll be brutally awesome!
Love the comebacks.......:)
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