QSW the Psychotic

FN compares me to Grace and himself to Will.

Ironic, because my real name means "One of grace" in some foreign language... or at least that is what the poster said that use to hang on my wall.

I think he means the red-headed, Jewish, slightly psycho Grace Adler though.

Last night was confession night with NG.
If you've never been through anything traumatic in your life, then you've probably never had one of these nights in your relationships. I have been through stuff, and apparently so has NG. At the end of those nights you usually find yourself either re-thinking the relationship or liking the person that much more then before.

At the end of NG's confession I found myself realizing that he really liked me a lot more than I thought. I also realized that he could hide himself really well.
At the end of my confession, I left NG ... shocked.
I was shocked, that he was shocked.

I've told this confession to a handful of people.
My first real boyfriend in high school, my best friend of high school, my best friend of college who turned out to be psychotic and told SY, and ID, my mother, I'm pretty sure my father knows because my mom tells him everything, The EX, Matt, and GH.
Out of everyone's reaction, no one acted "shocked."
A couple immediately felt sorry for me and I hate pity.
A few felt that I had handled myself well, and I was a better person because of it.
My mom just cried, but that was to be expected, you never want to think of bad things happening to your children.
Oh I forgot, my brother knows as well, because I wanted him to SHUT UP about what his ex-girlfriend Medusa went through. He kept telling me how horrible it was, and when I finally heard it I actually laughed.
It wasn't that horrible.
In fact two sessions of therapy could have made her happy the rest of her life.
That, or a swift kick of "Grow-the-fuck-up" in the ass.
So I told my brother what I had been through.
It was giving him a swift kick of "Grow-the-fuck-up" in the ass, followed by a slap of "Shut-the-fuck-up."
He never brought up Medusa's problems again.

Ok, back to Shocked NotGay.

I hesitated telling NG this, because we are only to the two month mark, but since he had told me something almost as horrible and we had been friends for 2 years, I felt it would be ok.
Shocked did not make me feel comfortable.
I assured him that I was well over it since it happened 8 years ago, and other than one instance during my dating of GH, I haven't heard about him or what he's been doing. Also, he went to jail awhile for it, so I was completely fine with the fact that he had at least been punished.

That seemed to bring NG out of his trance of staring at me.
"Were there bruises?" he asked.
I couldn't help it, I started laughing.
"Yes," I said smiling, "there would have to had to been."
"How come you aren't upset?" he asked.
"Because it happened 8 years ago," I reiterated, "all pain goes away with time."
He buried his face into my neck and wrapped his arms around me and laid on top of me.
I was at a loss on what to do, so I just ran my fingernails up and down his back.
I felt like I was comforting him rather than vise versa.

After I long period of silence I felt my heart beating faster, and I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, he doesn't want to date me anymore."
I found my voice after a few minutes longer and I said, "NG, if you don't want to date anymore, I won't blame you."
He jumped up like I was on fire, and yelled (yelled, this is a man known for not talking all evening)"WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM?"
My turn to be shocked.
After regaining composure I yelled back, "WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?!! OR AT LEAST SEE THAT I'M LAUGHING AND OK WITH THE SITUATION BEFORE YOU BECOME SILENT AND WHAT SEEMED LIKE BITTER! I KNOW WAY TO MUCH ABOUT YOU TO THINK THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE SOME KIND OF THOUGHT ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION!"
He just stared... (shocked I'm assuming)... and then started laughing.
"What! Is! So! Funny!" I said, half-yelling.
"Matt told me one time that he got you angry and you yelled and it floored him so much he just let you win the argument, and now I see what he means," he said laughing.
"Please please, stop bringing him up!" I said, "He's the reason we are even talking in this manner."
Which was true, I told NG about running into Matt the other night and NG didn't handle it well.
"Ok, fine, I wont," he said still laughing, "And I don't want to break up with you, I promise."

After that it was LoTR and ice cream, and not another thing was said about it.