Men Mark Their Territory
In response to Indy's Women Mark Their Territory.
It always starts with the toilet seat and pee stains.
I have a lot of guy friends and it never fails for one of them to walk out of my bathroom and ask "Are you dating someone? Or did you miss the seat?"
Seriously, I know I'm in a relationship when I find myself in rubber gloves at my toilet twice a week.
Next it's followed by condoms in my drawer. Why is it that they were OK in the wallet before, but now suddenly you have to "store" them in my bedside table? And why do we need more than three? Let's be realistic, you aren't going to use three in one night, and you can replenish them later.
Then it's the socks and boxers. Geez. Seriously just because I don't see them when I pick up my laundry doesn't mean I enjoy finding them later when I'm folding the clean clothes! Did you wear your shoes home without socks? Did your pants not chafe you? And no, don't get mad when you find other men's socks and boxers in my drawers, you weren't the first one to try and get his socks & boxers cleaned by me, and you won't be the last. Yes, I will keep them, they'll be my forever running socks and my forever sleeping shorts.
What is with the beer in the fridge? Yes, if you bring over beer don't expect me not to drink it. This isn't your fridge. Yes I know I prefer wine, but hey, don't expect me NOT to change my mind. I'm not your friend, I'm the girl you sleep with, friends don't drink other friend's beer, but girls you sleep with do.
It always ends up with me tripping over a bag of laundry as I walk into my apartment and realizing it's not mine or my roommates because of the odd funk coming from it. It's always right after I pick up the mail that you surprise me with a "Hey there, you are finally home!" which startles me to the point where I drop the mail into the bag with the weird funk. Somehow you always stay for dinner. How did you get in? Oh you can jimmy the lock, because you have a penis.
There are steps here, don't jimmy until I've given you the key.
It always starts with the toilet seat and pee stains.
I have a lot of guy friends and it never fails for one of them to walk out of my bathroom and ask "Are you dating someone? Or did you miss the seat?"
Seriously, I know I'm in a relationship when I find myself in rubber gloves at my toilet twice a week.
Next it's followed by condoms in my drawer. Why is it that they were OK in the wallet before, but now suddenly you have to "store" them in my bedside table? And why do we need more than three? Let's be realistic, you aren't going to use three in one night, and you can replenish them later.
Then it's the socks and boxers. Geez. Seriously just because I don't see them when I pick up my laundry doesn't mean I enjoy finding them later when I'm folding the clean clothes! Did you wear your shoes home without socks? Did your pants not chafe you? And no, don't get mad when you find other men's socks and boxers in my drawers, you weren't the first one to try and get his socks & boxers cleaned by me, and you won't be the last. Yes, I will keep them, they'll be my forever running socks and my forever sleeping shorts.
What is with the beer in the fridge? Yes, if you bring over beer don't expect me not to drink it. This isn't your fridge. Yes I know I prefer wine, but hey, don't expect me NOT to change my mind. I'm not your friend, I'm the girl you sleep with, friends don't drink other friend's beer, but girls you sleep with do.
It always ends up with me tripping over a bag of laundry as I walk into my apartment and realizing it's not mine or my roommates because of the odd funk coming from it. It's always right after I pick up the mail that you surprise me with a "Hey there, you are finally home!" which startles me to the point where I drop the mail into the bag with the weird funk. Somehow you always stay for dinner. How did you get in? Oh you can jimmy the lock, because you have a penis.
There are steps here, don't jimmy until I've given you the key.
posted by Sipwine at 10:37 AM
3 Comments:
Of course we mark our territory...we are territorial, we really do want to warn all others off, we admit it and we are not subtle about it. ~grin~
And women do too...
Uh...*Rockstar* left 8 beers in my fridge a few weeks ago.
They very slowly dissapeared one by one.
You can't keep\leave beer in my fridge and NOT expect me to drink it!
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