Bonnie: So I've written my very first book of poetry. And it's all about hope and communication and the healing power of love.
Larry King: What is it called?
Bonnie: Wait Until He's Asleep, Then Cut It Off.
Connie: It's a page-turner.
Roger: I cried.

"Who wants beer?" said my grandmother the moment we had set down our bags. This almost expected from the woman who liked to complain everyone was drinking other than her. Secretly, we all knew that she loved her "virgin" strawberry dacquiris in very naughty ways. Most of us murmered "no" and my father and brother just vanished into thin air, they knew that if they said "no" and were caught later with a beer, they'd hear about it for the rest of the weekend.
The females that were left (my grandfather had disappeared as well, but before the question was asked, I guess at his 80th year, he knew better) consisted of my three cousins, my aunt, my mother, my grandmother, and the newest addition of my 6 month old "second" cousin. Come to think of it, my middle cousin, Stephanie, had lost her husband, Greg, at that point as well. Men were quick on their feet in this household.
We all sat down to talk about life. My eldest cousin, Courntey was currently living with her boyfriend in Balitomore. She was about 4'0" and came up to my waist, her height (she learned) could make her easily forgotten if she just stayed low enough. Stephanie concerned herself mostly with the baby, Sonja, and didn't get a lot of questions asked to her. My youngest cousin Andrea, was almost as tall as I was, but completely mental. She found the Lord, after finding that she had cancer 6 or 7 times, manic depressive disorder, Torretts syndrome, and a numerous amount of infections... none of which the family believed she had. At least after finding the Lord she had calmed down in being a hypocondriac, but now we had to hear things like "That Pirate's movie is actually promoting devil worshipping." And since, I was the youngest in the room, and I had a love life much like a soap opera, I was the natural choice to be questioned first.
June, my grandmother, turned to me and said, "I heard you are dating someone new." Ugh, my mom had already told her. June liked things hip and new, which is why we called her June, instead of grandma, because she didn't like the title because it made her feel old. "Juuuuune," I whined, " Don't jinx it, it's a barely breathing relationship right now." "Oh, did something happen already?" she inquired, hoping for juicy gossip.
I was at a dilemma, something had already happened, but I had no idea what. I spent an incredible evening with him on his birthday, followed by an evening with our friends were he basically ignored me completely and avoided me, even when the two of us were alone. I was determine not to obsess over it until I returned to the same state as him,but here were 6 woman at my disposal to give me advice... I decided it was a trap and said "No, we've just been out on very few dates.." which wasn't a complete lie. Looking disappointed my aunt decided another stab at getting gossip out of me, "Didn't you just break up with someone?" she asked, already knowning the answer. My mother took over this time and told everyone what a complete asshole Matt was to me. To my horror, she followed it with "Oh and NG is NOTHING like that, QSW has known him for 3 years now."
Ugh. Immediately I was bombarded with questions.
I managed to swat many of them away, and thankfully, at that point SY decided to call me. I was in no mood to talk to him, but I was desperate to get away. He was calling me to ask me if I wanted to go to lunch. The night before, i explained to him that this was the last i'd see of him before I left for Michigan, but apparently he wasn't listening. The conversation had ended too quickly, and I found myself standing in my room not wanting to go back downstairs. So I opened my laptop, sat down, and wrote this...