Up or Down?

Ladies and Gentlemen:
I know how there is a war in place amongst the sexes.
Ladies say Down.
Gentlemen say Up.

Ladies you have just lost one of your own.
I say Up.
Let me explain myself before you start throwing tampons at me.

For over a year now, he-who-shall-not-be-named and I have been together.
Without given a choice, I was told the toilet seat…… remains up.
At first I rebelled.
I left it down all the time.
But…. the man can complain,
and the man can argue,
and the woman wanted him to stop talking.
So I started putting it up.

Now, after being fully trained to put it up, I see the benefits of it.
Who here (women) has ever walked into the bathroom, found the toilet seat down, but with yellow marks all over it?
I have.
Who here (women) have ever come in late at night, and just sat down without looking, and sat on a rim of a cold toilet, but not the seat?
I have.
And who, amongst you women, has ever lifted that toilet seat to clean underneath, and almost gagged at what you saw sitting there for days, if not weeks?
I have.

Now my point:
I am fully trained to put the toilet seat up.
No matter how tired, drunk, stressed, confused I am, I will always walk in, grab the toilet seat and put it down.
That means that since I’ve dated he-who-shall-not-be-named I’ve never once sat down on the cold rim of the toilet.
Since I always put it up, no matter how tired, drunk, stressed, confused he-who-shall-not-be-named is he never has to worry about peeing on the seat…
…this means that I have not had to deal with yellow spots on the toilet seat for more than a year.
And my final point… and this might be the only one that the women enjoy… because the toilet seat is always up, he-who-shall-not-be-named always makes sure that the rim doesn’t look bad, because it’s constantly on display. So if he does have a “shaking” accident, he immediately cleans it up, because I leave the toilet seat up, and he doesn’t want me to see his mistake.

I’m thinking the “toilet seat up” might be the most hygienic procedure out there.
Ladies, call me a wheel, but I’m going to turn on you.