First: Matt vs. Men Second: Ass and Titties
So, whomever is going to seriously date me after Matt has it really good.
One: If you call when you say you are going to call (I'll probably faint first, but I'll call right back I promise), or if you say you're going to call at a certain hour and manage within the hour to call me, or if you say you are going to call in the afternoon and actually call me within the hours of 12 and 5, then I'll be your slave.
Matt only did that within the first couple of months I dated him... wait... no he didn't, he slept through our second date calling me later that evening apologizing.
Two: If you take the time to lead me out of a crowded bar without stopping to talk to every girl/guy who walks past you, and manage to get me home safely, I'll be your slave.
Once I got tired of waiting on Matt to finish talking to every Tom, Dick, and Jane that he walked past so I lead myself out of the bar, resulting in me passing out and hitting the pavement because the cold air was too much for me. He still managed to make it home 15 minutes after I did, and I passed out for 5 minutes on the pavement.
Three: If you are nice to my friends and nice to me, not only will I be a slave to you, but my friends will as well.
So I assumed from everyone's reaction to Matt that he was a well liked guy. Now that we've broken up, I have more and more people coming up to me and saying things like "Thank GOD you two are finally done, he treated you like shit."
These are the same people that would say to me "Where is Matt? Get that man out here, he's fun to hang out with!" WTF, Mates?**
And Four: If you can figure out how to be my friend and be my lover at the same time, I'll be a slave to you as well.
Matt never got it. Sometimes he'd be really sweet to me, but for the most part he treated me like his buddies, which is why I cried at our break up. I was losing a friend. A best friend. Not a lover though. Not a boyfriend.
**"WTF, Mates?" Came from this.
*************************************************************
So the post earlier about my 'hot piece of ass' was followed by the end of the evening where my friend Beau text messaged me with this:
Beau: I have a nice fire going, would you like to come over?
(I have never been to Beau's house)
Me: Fire?
Beau: Yeah, a big bonfire.
(there was a minutes interval)
Beau: I just saw a picture of your boobs.
(this resulted in me calling him)
Me: Excuse me? You may think you have a picture of those, but you don't.
Him: No, it was just a picture of Thursday night at chumley's when you and Warren took a picture together, you can see down your shirt. So are you coming out?
Me: No, I'm going to bed.
Him: Well If you change your mind let me know.
Me: I will, bye Beau.
(1.5 hour interval)
Beau is calling me.
I do NOT pick up.
A few minutes later I text "Sorry I was asleep."
Beau (text): No worries, I'm drunk.
(1 minute pause)
Beau (text): Just thinking of grabbing your boobies.
I wonder what he'll say when I call him today and asking him what he meant by that.
At least he's honest?
One: If you call when you say you are going to call (I'll probably faint first, but I'll call right back I promise), or if you say you're going to call at a certain hour and manage within the hour to call me, or if you say you are going to call in the afternoon and actually call me within the hours of 12 and 5, then I'll be your slave.
Matt only did that within the first couple of months I dated him... wait... no he didn't, he slept through our second date calling me later that evening apologizing.
Two: If you take the time to lead me out of a crowded bar without stopping to talk to every girl/guy who walks past you, and manage to get me home safely, I'll be your slave.
Once I got tired of waiting on Matt to finish talking to every Tom, Dick, and Jane that he walked past so I lead myself out of the bar, resulting in me passing out and hitting the pavement because the cold air was too much for me. He still managed to make it home 15 minutes after I did, and I passed out for 5 minutes on the pavement.
Three: If you are nice to my friends and nice to me, not only will I be a slave to you, but my friends will as well.
So I assumed from everyone's reaction to Matt that he was a well liked guy. Now that we've broken up, I have more and more people coming up to me and saying things like "Thank GOD you two are finally done, he treated you like shit."
These are the same people that would say to me "Where is Matt? Get that man out here, he's fun to hang out with!" WTF, Mates?**
And Four: If you can figure out how to be my friend and be my lover at the same time, I'll be a slave to you as well.
Matt never got it. Sometimes he'd be really sweet to me, but for the most part he treated me like his buddies, which is why I cried at our break up. I was losing a friend. A best friend. Not a lover though. Not a boyfriend.
**"WTF, Mates?" Came from this.
*************************************************************
So the post earlier about my 'hot piece of ass' was followed by the end of the evening where my friend Beau text messaged me with this:
Beau: I have a nice fire going, would you like to come over?
(I have never been to Beau's house)
Me: Fire?
Beau: Yeah, a big bonfire.
(there was a minutes interval)
Beau: I just saw a picture of your boobs.
(this resulted in me calling him)
Me: Excuse me? You may think you have a picture of those, but you don't.
Him: No, it was just a picture of Thursday night at chumley's when you and Warren took a picture together, you can see down your shirt. So are you coming out?
Me: No, I'm going to bed.
Him: Well If you change your mind let me know.
Me: I will, bye Beau.
(1.5 hour interval)
Beau is calling me.
I do NOT pick up.
A few minutes later I text "Sorry I was asleep."
Beau (text): No worries, I'm drunk.
(1 minute pause)
Beau (text): Just thinking of grabbing your boobies.
I wonder what he'll say when I call him today and asking him what he meant by that.
At least he's honest?
posted by Sipwine at 9:23 AM
6 Comments:
One: Shows lots of interest to start off huh?
Two: Haha... did he know you passed out?
Three: I wonder if this is always the case?
Four: Agreed
*****
Everything is honest when you're drunk
ha, I wouldn't believe him if he told you he doesn't remember saying those things.
I use that "excuse" sometimes. To try to get away with things that I might not necessarily be able to do.
In fact, I've been debating about bringing up that excuse again sometime in the near future. :)
Look at you.... :)
Scotty: Yes, One: I should have realized, and known better.
Two: He did later on after he returned home to find me crying in his bathroom.
Three: Sometimes it is, regardless. Just this time seems weird.
Honestly is the policy when people are drunk, thats very true.
DC: He knows I won't take that excuse, I've known him too long to know better. :)
Look at me, I have strangers talking about my ass, and friends wanting to grab my boobies.
Life is good. ;)
you probably should count this as one of the best weeks of 2007 for you!
oh man, we used to be big on the "WTF MATE!?" thang. Now we just say, "WT-FUCK!?"
Okay I'm ashamed to say that I stopped reading blogs when my finals started and didn't get back on the horse til tonight.
So... wow, you and Matt are done. I don't know what to say except 1) It's normal to think "i'm better than that" afterwards, and 2) Don't be anyone's slave for the things in this post. You have to learn to expect them; Matt lowered your standards too much! :)
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