A horrible St. Patty's day.

The night had some postive, or worth mentioning moments.
GH and Matt kissed.
Neither one of them is a guy who does that. In fact, I don't know any guys except FN who do that.
Still, it was horrifying, especially since Matt doesn't know that I dated GH.
That one will bite me one of these days.

I kissed GH's girlfriend as a joke because of what GH and Matt did.
Which is also weird because its my brother's ex girlfriend.

Matt and I just MADE OUT at the bars.
We do NOT do that. In fact, while we are out most people couldn't tell that we were dating. We don't talk only to each other, we don't normally sit by each other, we don't hold hands... we are a pleasant couple to be around, normally.

What made it horrible though, was me.
Sigh.
I'm still kicking myself on this. I still feel like running around and telling everyone "That wasn't me! I swear! I had a weak moment! I had 3/4th a pitcher of green beer, 4 shots, a white russian, and a captain and coke! I WAS WASTED!!"

It won't matter. Most will agree with me.
I'm normally not like that. I'm a level-headed girl. Honest.

What I did, was because of many thing that happened over the last few weeks.
One: The afternoon that Matt's parents came, I was in his apartment. His phone started ringing, saying "Dawn" was calling. I e-mailed him to tell him he forgot his phone, but said nothing about who Dawn was.

Two: I freaked out about pictures on Matt's computer recently. He had a folder of pictures marked "Dawn and Company" and it showed a picture of him and an attractive girl sitting together and then another group shot of everyone.

Three: When were getting ready to leave, we were joking, and Matt says something like "call him" and tosses his phone at me. I press "talk" cause thats what I do with my phone to get to someone's number and it showed me that the last person he called was "Dawn." I made a comment, he said she was a friend of his, I made some snide comment like "ex-girlfriend, friend?" and he said no, and I said, "I thought that was the picture of the girl on your computer?" He said, "No, I don't have any pictures of her on my computer." I said nothing after that.

You can already see where I'm going with this, but I'll continue.

Four: The last straw, and at least I waited to be an asshole and we were away from everyone, but the last straw was the worst straw.
We get back to his place at 3 am. 333333333333 aaaaaaaammmmmmm.
I want to stress that.
I was wasted. WASTED!
We sit down to eat something, and he gets up to go get ME a glass of water... I'm such an asshole, I just remembered that little detail...
And the phone, his phone, next to me, started to ring.
"Dawn calling..." was what it read.
Oh god. I'm so sorry I'm really not an asshole all the time.
And I picked up the phone,
he turned to me to ask who it was,
and I said "Dawn's calling" and flung it at him.
I cringe typing that.

What happened next was a long fight until 4 am.
He had every right to be mad.

One: Dawn has known Matt for 15 years.
Two: Dawn is not his ex-girlfriend like he said.
Three: She's not even in the pictures, in the folder, with her name on it. I just love MySpace proving me wrong.
Four: It was St. Patty's day and Matt and Dawn are Irish. Gee, doesn't take a genius to figure out that the childhood friends would call each other.
Five: I'm an asshole, and I swear I would have thought a lot better if I had not been wasted.

Matt and I for the first time slept in separate beds in the same apartment.
This morning when we got up, we talked some more, and I think he finally forgave me.

Then... oh god... I left... and my car wouldn't start... because it was out of gas.
So I had to walk.... back to his apartment...and ask for his help.
Which he was fucking Prince Charming about...
...Only making the misery worse for me.

I, in the year I've been dating him, have never done anything like that.
And I'm so horrifed I did.