Chicago on 3/5 vs. Chicago on 3/12

The last two weekends Matt has gone to Chicago.
The first weekend he came back, something had changed, he tried to break up with me.
The second weekend he came back and was REALLY happy and excited to see me.

So he doesn't know I freaked out about the pictures.
He probably won't ever know unless he manages to find this blog again.

Monday after the attempted break up, I was shaky on the inside.
Tuesday the feeling died down.
By Thursday I was feeling happy again.
Friday, I was ready to let him go back to Chicago even though the last time he went he came back very removed from me.
He has two kinds of friends.
Those that are married, and those that will probably remain single the rest of their lives... by choice.
I think he has a very skewed picture of life and happiness because of that.
So it was Tuesday evening.
I had decided not to call Matt that evening.
If he called, fine, if not, fine.

He called around 8:30 saying he wanted to hang out with me and that he had just gotten in.
I said ok.
I came over and he grabbed me, kissed me hard, and said, "You have got to be the best girlfriend ever."

Talk about bi-polarness.

I went from being dumped last Monday to being the best girlfriend ever the next Tuesday.
Anyway, he thanked me profusely for cleaning the apartment, looked genuinely concerned when I told him what the nightmare entailed, and then took me out to eat (he wouldn't allow me to pay at all... again).
On the way back we picked up a bottle of booze and Casino Royale to watch.
After that was done, he sat me on his lap and we looked at randomness on the internet for a hour or so.
Finally I told him I had to go to bed.
At 6:30 in the morning, he woke me up and he had porn playing on the TV.
He was definitely turned on, and I was definitely in a bad mood.
For about 5 minutes I was a complete bitch to him because he woke me up.

I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep because:
A.) I had been worried about the healthiness of our relationship and whether or not I should have talked him out of breaking up.
B.) I've had an ear infection

So there I was, after being awakened by a horny boyfriend (who was realizing quickly how wrong he was for waking me), watching some Indian girl sucking cock, and feeling particularly sad because I knew I wasn't going to be able to fall right back into that peaceful sleep.
Thats when it struck me.
We had had sex the week before....but only twice, and both times it seemed as if we were doing it to prove to each other that we really did care, "making love" if you will.
I hadn't had just regular-let's-have-fun-and-do-it sort of sex in almost two weeks. While "making love" is important, "fucking" is also equally important to me to be happy in a relationship.
And here he was, wanting me, like the Indian girl who wanted the cock in her mouth (she said it, not me).
"Oh sod it." I said.
He got out a "What?" before I tackled him and covered his mouth with mine.

At 7:30 in the morning, when the dawn was breaking and the porn was ending, I curled up with him one happy woman.