Too Much?

Remember for your papers, John Brown was hanged, not hung. He might have been hung too but that is a different topic.

I kissed a girl, just to try it.
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. (doesn't mind it?)

Ok, It's hot that Katy had the balls to talk about the phenomenon where girls get drunk and kiss each other. There has been one time in my life where two guys made out drunk... and trust me, it was not something I wanted to see. Somehow it's hot when straight women do it. Why? I have no idea, in fact, I don't even find it hot, I find it disgusting. The two girls doing it are obviously screaming, "LOOK AT ME! I AM AWESOME!" silently in their heads and when no one heard them decided the only thing left was to make out with each other.
Crazy phenomenon.

Back to Katy and her singing. Why, Why, Why, Katy did you make such an awesome song about this crazy phenomenon and use BAD ENGLISH!? Bill Gates, who is ten times smarter than you, created an awesome program called WORD so that the dumb people of this world would have something to make them at least SOUND SMARTER!

"Don't mean I'm in love tonight?"
Lets break this down.
Do Not mean I'm in love tonight?
Does that sound right?
NO!
Excuse me, let me use your English so you understand me.
Do that sound right?
NO!

This reminds me in the 90's before Katie Holmes became crazy and decided Mr. LongSchnoz was hot and wanted to have science babies, she starred in a show called Dawson's Creek. The show sucked, and the opening song was a representation of it. I watched all my friends sing, "I don't wanna wait" by Paula Cole, and every time they sang, "And say a little prayer for I" I cringed.

Excuse me, "me cringed" not "I."
I bet you got confused there for a second.
REALLY?
I?
Not ME?
I realize it rhymes, but WRITE A DIFFERENT SONG IF IT DOESN'T FIT!

How about this?

From now on, me will right stoopid bad english and see if yous like reading it because many like singing it. Today, me realized that I's wisdom teef started moving again (or maybe I should say, "shuckin' and jivin'" like Justin Rickilake). My jaw hurts and booze seemed to helpin' it. Hope aspirin helped it, but was wrong.

Ok, that takes an effort.
Has anyone seen the movie Idiocracy? Because I don't think I am going to reproduce.

(WORD hated me on this post.)

GO AWAY!

Last night, I screamed "Go away" and literally kicked a guy away from LeggyBlonde and myself.
He came back and thats when I really started screaming "GO AWAY" loudly.
I'm only writing this because some of you might be confused by LB's comment below.
;-)

The women I work with.

Let me just say that it's intimidating to work with such beautiful women at my job.
Both of the girls I work with are beautiful in completely different ways making it hard for guys to figure out which one to stare at first.

First we have LeggyBlonde:

Second is HelloKitty:
Both of these women are strikingly beautiful but the amazing thing about them is their personalities. While very different, they still both have qualities that continue to impress me and make me want to be more like them.
LeggyBlonde is very down to earth who laughs easily at silly jokes I make and seems to catch the eye of multiple men who then become frequents at the bar making the rest of us uncomfortable for her. She of course brushes it off like she hasn't attracted anyone and we are all full of it. One of the many things I love about her. Once you become her friend you can count on her to hold all your secrets. Even ones you didn't expect her to hold secret, she just lets your business be yours and no one elses. Its an impressive quality which I don't possess.
HelloKitty, who is called that because of her love of her pet kittens, is equally as beautiful and tends to have a no-nonsense attitude to just about everything. She's finds it easy to tell someone with the utmost politeness to bugger off if she doesn't find their company pleasing. I never could do that and I'd find myself in very bad situations. Once you've become her friend she always goes out of her way to compliment or make you laugh when your day would be otherwise crummy.

Of course, both of these women are taken and by gentlemen who are worthy of their attention.
Its no matter to me, I don't want to date them, but I feel bad for all the men who I've just disappointed.