So, the point of this post is never, ever buy a spider monkey. They will plot your demise and gouge your eyes out in your sleep.

I'm sick and a lady at my office handed me a tea bag that said, "Detox Tea" on it.
"Here this will help your cough, it did wonders for mine," she said.
I thanked her and quickly made the tea because I figured it would at least stop my coughing.
I sat down with my "Detox Tea" and opened Wikipedia. Since I spend a lot of my time trying to "toxify" my body, I didn't want to turn into the Incredible Hulk or something "detoxifying" it.
I was determined to do some reading before sipping.

Detox is less effective than drinking a glass of H2O.

I'm almost quoting Wikipedia directly. And, I know some of you think that Wikipedia is controlled by government monkeys (here is your only reference to monkeys)and I cannot trust it, so this is the link to WebMD confirming the same thing.
Although, I am curious about "Sap Sheets," they still look interesting enough or at least when I saw the 4am info-mercial.
What was I doing up at 4am? I work at a bar. I have weird hours. I see weird things... like music videos on MTV.

What is the point of all this detox discussion?
My question: HOW IN THE HELL DID SOMEONE GET DUPED INTO BELIEVING THIS SHIT?
Excuse me... Did I say "someone?"... I mean... TONS OF PEOPLE!
Lemmings, people.

Side Note: The Lemmings metaphor cracks me up. Some Disney filmmaker decided to "push" the lemmings off a cliff when they weren't running off of it. Then, he/she made a documentary, sold it to the public, and like "lemmings" we believed that the little rodents committed mass suicide. Maybe the filmmaker was only trying to prove how easy it was to get the public to believe that, for no reason, one rodent in this universe would kill itself for no reason. Meanwhile, other rodents survive through conditions that Bear Grylls couldn't imagine.

In my one run-in with the detoxing nation, and I simply took 5 minutes and figured out it was a scam. I love these stupid diets. Like the one where you eat only meat? What? Seriously?
God invented fruits and vegetables just so you didn't have to go killing every four-legged creature in a 12 mile radius of you.
Sparky loves you, don't eat him because some asshole decided to create the "All Dog Diet!"
Use your head.
Not that head.
The other one.
Good boy.