The Bitching Post

There are a few things that NG has explained to me that he's upset with me on...

1.) I go out on the weekdays sometimes, obviously making me an alcoholic.

2.) I complain that I never get to see NG, but then when he makes the time for me, I want to leave soon after.

3.) NG feels he constantly has to come up with a plan of action for when we do hang out and he'd rather I come up with something.

Those are valid things to be upset on. I tried to argue back that

1.) I usually have at most two beers, there are exceptions, but most of the time its one or two beers and socializing with friends.

2.) He makes time for me between the hours of 7 and 9, and at 9 he goes to sleep, leaving me sitting there on a saturday night at 9pm with a sleeping boyfriend who can't even sleep with the TV on. Wouldn't you want to go home too?

3.)I have no idea how he came up with this one, normally, after exhausting 25 options, he tells me what he wants to do, and thats what we do.

This week:

Monday - briefly talked to NG when he called to tell me he had planned his vacation to Mexico and had purchased plane tickets. Since his buddy is low on cash, he bought his plane tickets as well.

Tuesday - I called NG at 10AM to ask him if he'd go to see "The Godfather" with me at the local movie theatre (its a completely restored theatre about a block away from my apartment and they decided every tuesday to play old movies). I know NG loves the movie, and I thought it would be a nice date option. He said ok. Great. I had a date. Around 5PM he called me and told me that he didn't understand why I wanted to sit in a movie theatre to watch that movie when we could easily rent it. I told him that we didn't have to go if he really didn't want too. He told me he really didn't want too, then asked what we were going to do instead. I told him I didn't have any ideas, he got frustrated, got off the phone and later called me back to ask if I had thought of anything. I told him "no" and I didn't see him the rest of the night.

Wednesday - I had to pick up performers for "The Anoushka Shankar Project" at the airport for my office. I got a text message before I left from NG. "What are you up too hun?" it said. I told him "Driving to Indy airport." I got no response. I hadn't told him I was going to Indy. He had no idea what was going on. Still, no questions about it. On my way back from the airport I got a message saying, "I miss you babe." My eyebrows went up and a look of shock spread across my face and one of the passengers commented on my look. NG has never once told me he loves me or misses me. So to be so bold as to say that over text messaging was shocking. This sounds horrible, but I played it off as a joke. "Oh, babe, I miss you too, but I promise I wouldn't leave the country without telling you first!" He responded in text form and said he'd like to see me tomorrow. I told him I'd be around.

Thursday - I woke up early and realized that I had told NG I'd see him and I had a show that evening. I quickly text messaged him and told him that I had a show, but I had an extra ticket for him if he'd like to come with me and we could do something afterwards together. I got no response all day.

All day.

At 4:30PM, I was feeling pretty hurt. I knew that even if NG had worked the early shift and left his phone at home, I sent the text message early enough that he wouldn't have left for work yet. Besides now it was 4:30PM and if he had missed it, and left his phone at home, he'd be home by now and could get the text message. Nothing.

Mr. Lust called me when I was really wondering what I was doing with NG.

I had been ignoring his phone calls. I picked this one up. He asked if he could take me out to eat. I told him yes. He was surprised. So was I. I told him I had to be done eating by 6:45 because I had the "The Anoushka Shankar Project" at 7:30pm. I told him I had an extra ticket. He asked if he could go. I said yes.

He took me out for sushi.

Sushi.

I adore sushi.

NG hates it.

He talked to me about his travels in Korea and China when we ate dinner. I told him of my travels throughout Europe. NG hasn't even been to Mexico yet.

Then Mr. Lust came with me to watch contemporary Indian classical music.

He drove me home, and then went home himself.

It was about 10:30 when I got home.

ID was in my room, when I got home and I kicked him out and then picked up my phone (which I had left in my room). One text message from NG asking at 8pm if I was home yet.

I sat down on my bed, really frustrated. I was almost in tears. Its a weird feeling to be respected and wanted by one man, and ignored and shoved aside by another.

I was sitting there, starting to feel pretty upset at my situation when ID staggered back into my room. "Can I bum a cigarette?" He slurred at me. I went over to my purse to find one when he contiuned with "Yea, NG bummed the last of my cigarettes when he and I went out to the bars. Shit, we were so drunk when we left."

I went cold.

I looked at ID.

It must have been one hell of a look because even at his drunk state, ID immediately said, "whats wrong?"

"Nothing," I said, "I'm going out with you though."

ID and I sat in silence smoking.

ID was afraid of me.

I couldn't blame him, I was one step away from becoming Baby Jane, in "Whatever happened to Baby Jane?"

ID smoked quickly and went inside.

I stayed outside. Trying to decide what my next action would be.

My phone started ringing.

It was NG.

I picked up the phone to a very drunk man asking me how the show was. He talked about Mexico and about how much fun he was going to have. Then asked me why I wasn't talking much. I told him I was tired and got off the phone.

Tell me, what would you do if you were me?