Christmas Quotes

QSW about to go to bed at 1AM, stops because she sees her mother emerge from her bedroom.
QSW: Mom, Why are you up?
Mom: We need Toliet Paper and Pickles.
QSW: Ok....
Mom: QSW! We cannot have christmas without Toliet paper and Pickles!


While playing Trivial Pursuit, a family tradition...

QSW reading the question after about 3 drinks.
QSW: How thick is a hockey puck if a hockey puck could chuck wood?
Dad: (without missing a beat) 1 inch.
Mom and Aunt: (giggling incontrollably) No! Jim! It's 1.5 inches.
Dad: (not wanting to deal with giggling) Fine.
QSW: (laughing uncontrollably) 1 inch.

After playing Trivial Pursuit for close to an hour and the "young ones" team being ahead for the majority of the game the "old folks" team finally tied it.
QSW reads question to win game to herself before reading it out loud.
QSW: Fuck.
Brother: QSW! Stop being so MELODRAMATIC!
Aunt, Mother, Cousins, Dad giggling at the word Fuck, while my
Brother reads the question to himself.
Brother: WHAT THE FUCK?
Everyone laughing uncontrollably with lots of booze in system.
Brother: What color is Bianco wine? THIS IS A SCIENCE AND LEISURE QUESTION? READ TO A FAMILY OF WINOS? FUCK? (storms out of room)
Mom: Who's being Melodramatic?
Dad and Aunt: White.

Talking to Mr. Lust the one time I had a chance all weekend/week.
Me: Hi Dear.
Mr. Lust: Hi Baby.
Me: What's your worst?
Mr. Lust: My sister stormed out of the house because my father favors the men in the family more than the women, and no one could find her for 45 minutes, finally after searching found her behind a tree. You?
Me: My grandmother told my cousin that the best way to get her to control her 11 month old is to slap it repeatedly and then attempted to show her how to do it, before my dad and grandfather grabbed her arm.
Mr. Lust: You win.
Me: Thank you dear.

More to come...

The World Of Cheating

Dear Blogging Community,
I don't know how to start this letter other than just... LAUNCHING into it.

I have now had 6 different people come up to me and say, "Oh, I kind of thought NG was cheating based on his actions towards you at the end."

Four of those, they were "real life" friends.
Two of those, WERE BLOGGER FRIENDS.*

Four "life" friends I can understand their hesitation on coming up to me and saying "Hey, he's cheating on you" that takes balls to do face to face.

Blogging people,
If I can't count on the OBJECTIVE CROWD to tell me what I don't see, who can I count on?
What am I going to do if you say, "Hey QSW, I think he might be cheating on you?"
Not talk to you?
Egg your mail box?
Threaten your cat?
Facebook threaten you?
NO!
I can't even block your comments, that takes WAY too much effort.
Notice the "pervert" comments stayed for 3 days before I finally deleted them?
Yea... there you go.
I don't even delete pervert comments.
I'm so lazy...
and plus I love ads for sex toys...

So there you have it:
If Mr. Lust seems like he's cheating on me... then say, "Hey, dumbass, he's cheating on you."
I need opinions or someone to give me the heads up.
I can make my own decisions regarding it, but sometimes I need a "Wake up and smell the damn coffee" because I have a thick skull.
Thank you.
Love,
Quietly Sippin' Wine

*To be fair, one of those two was a blogger and euchre friend.

The Older Sister

Mr. Lust's older sister and I are friends.
We shall call her DemandsRespect or DR for short. She'd like being called "Doctor" anyway, its a respect title. Let's call her Dr. Sister. Ha.

I digress.

Mr. Lust's company had their annual christmas party, which consists of a 40,000 dollar party.

It was quite the party.

Dr. Sister and her husband had to leave it early because of the threat of snow.
It was Mr. Lust's and my last night together for close to a month (he's going to Hawaii then from there to Germany, and will be back sometime before my birthday in the middle of January).
Dr. Sister didn't want to go, you could tell, she and I had been talking, and I could tell that she wanted to get drunk and party.
Before she left she said something to Mr. Lust that was "You should bring QSW down sometime, I'd like to take her and you around town to all the bars in Indy."
Mr. Lust responded with "Why not tonight? We can follow you down."

I wasn't around at this point, I was helping another member of his family try to corral a drunk person to a sober car.

She immediately said "not tonight, it's your last night with QSW"
I was touched that she would say that, and when Mr. Lust told me the story, I said, "Screw it, let's go."

So we went.
And we partyed like we all had just turned 21.
In the morning, I said goodbye to Mr. Lust.
And I'll wait until January 11th before I see him again.
But it was a good "farewell" we had together.
At the end of the night, it was just her and I on the dance floor and our significant others watching.
She even gave Mr. Lust the "If you dump her, I'm still going to be friends with her..." speech.
It was really sweet.

And that's all I have to say about that.

The weekend

FN and I made up this weekend.
We spent Saturday from 12 to 6:30 together shopping, eating, and watching the Golden Compass, because both of us had read the book and wanted to see it.
At 6:15 when we got out of the theater, Mr. Lust had left me a message saying that he had gotten tickets for the 6:45 showing of The Golden Compass because he knew I wanted to see it so badly.

That's the thing with nice guys, you can never count on them to fail you.

Since I didn't have the heart to tell him I had just seen it, I sat in that theater and watched it all over again.
Later we came back to my apartment, watched a Christmas movie and fell asleep.
The next day when we woke up, Mr. Lust asked if I'd like to come with him to help his family decorate the Christmas tree.
I agreed, I'm not sure why, but I did.
I got there and his father and brother were stringing lights, his mother was cleaning the fish tank, and his grandmother wasn't downstairs yet.
Mr. Lust started helping his mother, and I just stood there, because I didn't know his brother and father very well, and there wasn't enough room for me at the fish tank.
Around that time, his grandmother yelled downstairs for help (she's 91 and can barely stand up), and his father and brother disappeared to help.
I started stringing lights where they left off, because I figured I'd be useful while they were gone.
They came back with his grandmother and set her up putting hooks on ornaments. His father was impressed with my light decorating and kept telling me that I did a fine job with the lights.
Eager to please, I continued to string.

About 5 minutes later, I realized that I was alone with Mr. Lust's mom and his grandmother.
15 minutes after that I realized that that fact wasn't going to change.
I excused myself to go to the restroom and saw that Mr. Lust's father and brother were watching football, and Mr. Lust himself had disappeared.
Not knowing what to do, I just finished the lights.
Mr. Lust returned, and I realized that he was in fact still helping his mom, because he was carrying a 5 gallon bucket full of salt water.
When Mr. Lust left again to get another bucket, I boldly said, "So, do they flatter a lot so they get away with not doing any work?"
Both his mother and grandmother nodded their heads and said something like, "Yea, you learn to get use to it."

The hell I will.

Later when Mr. Lust and I were driving back to my apartment, he asked what was wrong.
Not thinking before I spoke I said, "I'm scared you'll be like your father one day and I'll get stuck with you because I'll be dumb enough to be knocked up by you."

Wrong thing to say, obviously, I should learn tact.

This started a somewhat mini argument that lasted until Mr. Lust swore to me that his father's tactics bothered him as much as they bothered me, and I promised never to insult his family without thinking through my statements beforehand.

That night I had a dream that I was pregnant, but I just kept bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and no one could stop the blood. Then I suddenly had a kid that was 2 years old, but I was still bleeding, and I couldn't pick up the kid because I was so weak from bleeding constantly. Mr. Lust refused to help me carry my child and somehow I found a way because I loved the child.

I woke up as if I was Lady Macbeth raking my fingernails into my legs trying to get rid of the blood. I only calmed down when I realized that there was no way I could be pregnant and I wasn't covered in blood.

I don't need a therapist to tell me what that dream meant.

Things I should not say while drunk...

(pointing to RHM boobs) "I call them Pleasure Town, and if you stick your face in them its like, 'Welcome to Pleasure Town!'"

(talking to Rick, another gay friend)"Oh you are my new gay boyfriend!"
Rick: "What happened to FN?"
Me: "He decided he wasn't my friend anymore, last time I was there he actually hid in a closet to avoid me, I mean, he spent all this time trying to get out of the closet, I don't know why he'd go back in one!"

(talking to my former "husband" in my fraternity, who got re-married to Medusa after I left the fraternity)
Him: "My daughter just came up to me very upset that I was formerly married to you."
Me: (somewhat yelling so that 20 - 30 people could hear) "Ah Shit, RHM where are you, Bitchface Medusa is upset I'm here, I better go!"

(while in a group of people)Someone: That's an interesting shirt you have. (pointing to the slutty girls shirt)
Slutty girl: "Thank you I think" and looks down at her shirt.
Me: (Noticing that the shirt was fine other than the big tear drop shape exposing her cleavage) "It's an air hole so you don't sufficate while motor boating her."